Why Romantic Love Is Not All You Need

love, need, why, couple, forever, happily ever after, prince charming, romantic, relationship, self love, true love, highschool, sweetheart, volatile, heartbreak, broken, heart, choose, life, redefined, unconditional,I have said it once and I’ll say it again, I love “love.” I have always believed in fairy tales and happily-ever-afters. I have always believed I would end up with my prince charming and that he would come save me from the world one day.

I still believe in strong, passionate, romantic love but a few thoughts have taken on different forms within my mind.

I had the stereotypical high school sweetheart. I thought it was true love. I thought it would never end. But then it did. My heart was broken into tiny little pieces and I refused to put them back together.

Months later, my sweetheart wanted me back and I simply turned the other cheek. If someone could hurt me so deeply, they simply did not deserve my love, I thought. I thought we had it made at the sweet age of 16, but I did some things I can never freely speak about and he said some things I could never truly forgive.

I thought love was a big fat lie at the time. I threw up for weeks straight and decided to turn my heart into coal.

With a cold heart in hand, I refused to believe in love ever again. Until cupid’s arrow showed up unexpectedly. I fell for my college sweetheart, if you can even call him that.

He knew me more than I ever knew myself. He spoke to me in a language I thought no one else could speak. Things were passionate but quickly turned volatile. I couldn’t live without him and he knew it. He played with my heart more than anyone had before and I couldn’t even recognize who I had become after it was all said and done.

There I was, once again, broken. How could love hurt so much? How could love leave me so fragile if it had once made me so strong? I had no answers but I decided to look within myself.

I began loving myself for the first time. Unconditionally and full-heartedly. I took care of my body and my mind for the first time and decided self-love was much more important than any romantic love from another.

So what happened to my childhood image of love? It was redefined forever. Did prince charming exist? Ehhh, not so much. Who was to save me from myself? Me and only me. Who could unconditionally love me and not hurt me intentionally? Me.

Of course, I don’t want to end up alone in the world but romantic love is not always the answer. We must first love ourselves before anyone can ever love us back.

Passionate, romantic love is not solely sustainable. It requires serious maintenance and a pact to choose to love one another day after day. You can’t just say, “Hey, I love you! Let’s live happily ever after together.” As older and much wiser people say, love can’t pay the damn bills.

It’s true, although romantic love can be intoxicating, it can sometimes become a vicious cycle that leads to absolutely nowhere.

I don’t think everyone ends up with the most passionate love of their life. Romantic love is sometimes just not enough to maintain a long-lasting relationship. I feel pretty lucky to have reconnected with one of the greatest loves of my life. Will we end up together forever? Only time will tell. Until then, I will keep choosing love even though I know love is not necessarily all we need.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Weddings Make Me Cry

wedding, cry, emotion, love, dad, father, daughter, unconditional, vows, chills, why, hope, promise, special, high, make, wonder I went to my cousin’s wedding a few days ago. Before I even got there, I knew I would cry at some point or another. I made sure to apply light makeup so as to avoid a running face. Nothing was going to stand in my way of crying on this special day!

Someone asked me why weddings always make me cry. After thinking long and hard about it, I realized I am a hopeless romantic. There is something about vows that just sends chills up and down my spine. The fact that two people have gone down some difficult roads before finding each other makes me extremely emotional.

I guess you could say I am in love with “love.”

The moment that two people stand at an altar and profess their endless love to each other makes me feel an array of emotions. I think about how this moment is the beginning of an entirely new chapter for them. I think about how they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. I think of how I have seen one or the other grow and evolve into the person they are today, deserving and willing of unconditional love.

I am a big ball of mush at weddings because I feel they are more than an exchange of words, they are an exchange of energy, love and promise. I feel honored when I get invited to one because of the fact that I get a glimpse of what another person’s love feels and looks like.

I tried my best not to cry at my cousin’s wedding. I did super well until my uncle mentioned how my grandma is so missed. I kept my composure until the father-daughter dance.

I realize there is no way to hold tears back when a father dances with his [now] married daughter. I think about how he must still see his adult daughter as a little girl. I think about how a daughter must redirect her trust and completely place it in her husband.

As a girl who loves her father more than anything, the father-daughter dance seems so much more symbolic than I ever thought possible. I always wonder, “Will I ever get that dance with my dad?”

Weddings make me so hopeful for the future, for not only the celebrated couple but myself. Most people in attendance are happy and excited and that alone is contagious. You could say I leave weddings with a “love” high.

I love when people choose to love each other. In that precious moment, I just know the married couple is the happiest they have ever been. I also feel extremely honored they chose to invite me to be a part of their happiness.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Attitude Is Everything

attitude, why, kindness, exchange, favor, life, advice, love, audrey hepburn, tiffanys, everything, mindful, politeI always had an attitude when I was younger. Everything I said had a certain snippiness attached to it. As I grew older, this attitude just stuck. It even makes surprise appearances here and there. It all started when I became bitter at the world during those confusing prepubescent years.

My mom always yelled at me when I gave her “attitude.” Half of the time I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Half the time I did. I started believing it was just “who I was.” I thought I could never be changed or altered. If anyone thought otherwise, well, they were the enemy.

Now I realize attitude is everything. The way you talk to the cashier or the way you ask a simple question at work can have a lot to do with the type of response you receive. Attitude is contagious.

I try my best to always convey the most positive attitude possible. I don’t care what kind of day I’m having, I try to be kind to every person I encounter. Why? Because they are on their own journey and my kindness can help propel them toward greatness.

I realize my attitude can sometimes shift and I always do my best to correct it the moment I stray. This isn’t true for everyone. Some people walk around with their problems on their shoulder. Some people say and do everything with a negative attitude and those around them can feel it. Bad vibes are not too hard to detect and I honestly believe they can have a greater negative effect than most people realize.

I encountered a bad attitude today. It caught me off guard and I was quick to think it was personal. Even when I realized it wasn’t personal, I was still upset. Mostly because the person on the other end of it did not have the courtesy to alter their attitude during our verbal exchange.

After a few minutes of being upset at this person with an attitude, I realized I felt sorry for them. No one had ever taught them how to control their attitude to get what they want in life. They have been living this life confused at to why they never get the results they expect or feel they deserve.

Attitude can negatively or positively affect those around us. Let’s be mindful of how we interact with others. Let’s make sure to always make people feel special and appreciated.  Small acts of kindness can make people happy to work with us and secure future favors for us. Let’s try to always make our personal exchanges positive and uplifting so we can all experience love on a daily basis. Love is all we need.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen