Why I Let My Dreams Die

strong, bansky, art, school, college, graduate, learn, plans, proactive, action, love, meaning, dreams, dead, alive, life, passion, follow dream, lonely, limits, change, scared, terrified, stuck, frozen, writing, fall, killer, murderer, power, growthI have always had big dreams. I have always been a fierce girl with hopes of materializing these dreams one day. My dream has been to write and here I am fulfilling it every chance I get. I write to breathe and I breathe to write.

Growing up, I was a lonely only child for many years. I would often talk to myself and play by myself. I soon learned that my thoughts could be transcribed onto paper and my love began there.

Paper could never judge me. Paper would never betray me. Paper would never stop listening.

I went to college, got my Master’s and did all that jazz. I learned to push myself to my limits. I was never smart. I had to always try a little harder than those other naturally gifted kids. But I did it. I graduated with honors as a first generation Latina.

I wrote my way through college and graduated wondering, “What’s next?” While school was great, no one ever told me life doesn’t end there. Life actually begins there. I was so terrified of taking any action toward my dreams that I settled for a mediocre existence. I was stuck.

I stopped writing. I stopped caring. I threw in the towel and dreaded walking into work every day because my passion had died at such a young age.

After a year of soul-searching, I realized my dreams hadn’t died. I had died and I had killed myself single-handedly. I never had a plan for after graduation so I froze in place.

If I could go back in time and talk to college age me I would tell her to start conjuring some master plan for becoming an awesome writer in the future. I would tell her to network while in college even if I didn’t feel like it.

The truth is, even if I had received such advice I probably would not have followed it. Life is funny like that. You have to fall multiple times to understand that falling hurts. Some falls teach us lessons while other falls simply remind us we are alive. 

I forgot I was alive. I forgot I had dreams. I forgot I was a writer. Not having a plan scared me. Not magically having a dream job lined up upon graduation terrified me. As a result, I retreated from my own life. I lost myself and everything I had ever worked for.

Once I realized the dream killer had been me all along, I took a step back and promised myself I would forever live a life full of passion and intensity. I would never let myself settle for less and I would follow my dreams every single day.

The first step toward change was identifying I was a murderer, the second step was setting out to make a change and the third step was becoming proactive in my decision to live. 

I started writing from my heart again. I started helping others write and find their own voice. I started publishing my truth and touching hearts with it. I started taking action each day to learn new concepts, technologies, and methods.

I finally came to the realization that learning doesn’t end after college. After learning from plenty of books it became time to finally start learning from myself.

I truly believe we all put on this earth to make a difference and my contribution will be in the form of written word.

Don’t let your dreams die. Don’t let yourself die. Don’t settle because things didn’t work out the way you thought they would. Be alive. Be proactive. Be passionate. Be ruthless. Be powerful.

Choose life. Choose knowledge. Choose growth.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why I Don’t Freak Out Anymore

home alone, mistake, freak, out, calm, solve, solution, answer, cry, fix, analyze, evaluate, dont, why, freak out, failure, success, pact, promise, blame, circumstance, faultsI used to be the biggest basket case you have ever met. I was always running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Crashing my car multiple times a year was the norm and I often spilled things all over myself. Okay, I still spill things all over myself but that’s not the point here.

I used to spend half my time making mistakes and the other half crying about them.

I can blame my parents for this because it got to a point while growing up where they would just ignore my cries and refused to offer up any explanations for as to why I couldn’t spend the night at Suzie Q’s house.

While I can sit here and blame a million people and/or circumstances for all of my faults, I will save you the grief. I am the way I am because of some external factors, defense mechanisms and secret pacts and promises I have made with myself throughout the years.

Regardless of the reasons why, I got to a point in my life where I realized freaking out and crying about things would get me absolutely nowhere in life. If anything, my freak out moments created more unnecessary stress  during times of trouble.

A wise person once told me that it’s okay to make mistakes. They told me just to make sure to never make the same mistake twice. And if in case a mistake is made, find a solution and find it fast.

People don’t want to hear about all of your mistakes, they want to hear about all of your solutions, accomplishments and successes (which usually come from a series of mistakes).

I stopped freaking out about everything by changing my mentality. I had to shift what I defined as “failure” in my heart and mind. Crashing into a parked car is not a failure, it is a sign that I need to slow down both mentally and physically.

Everything happens for a reason and just simply giving up after something goes terribly wrong is not the answer let alone the solution.

I now refuse to freak out about things. I simply take a deep breath, analyze the situation (quickly), and then come up with the best solution I can possibly think of. Whether or not this conclusion is the most effective way to fix the problem, I realize I will soon come to find out.

The bottom line is there’s no room for growth without mistakes. We must fall before we can get back up. We must try different options before we can come up with the best one. I mean, isn’t that what the Shark Tank is all about? People inventing things that are solutions to life’s everyday problems.

So next time you feel like freaking out about something, remember you might just be on the verge of creating a genius invention. If not, at least remember freaking out and obsessing over something gone wrong will solve absolutely nothing.

Character is created by making mistakes, learning from them and creating a genius thing or idea as a result of them.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why My Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal And Yours Isn’t Either

I have had loved ones become very sick. I have been faced with mortality and all of that other stuff they never teach you in school.

I have been terrified of my own life and of the inconsistencies life brings in general. This comes with age and wisdom. It can lead some into deep depression or into quite the opposite.

And while we all have our “story” and our sometimes seemingly unfair circumstances,  we must and will go on. In the end it will always be okay.

I have to admit I used to live my life like it was a dress rehearsal. I would make up excuses as to why I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life.

I would stand in my own way of finding success and pure happiness. I always told myself I had to do A B  and C before I could finally take center stage in the performance of my own life.

It’s not until life events shake your entire world that you realize that your life is not a rehearsal. At least that’s what happened to me. I had to experience a brutal wake up call in order to realize that everyday is part of the main act. 

Tomorrow really is not promised. We must forgive people in our hearts each day. We must have grace for all those we share this beautiful world with. We must take action and live a life full of integrity and honesty.

We must be proud of how far we have come and never take the present for granted. It’s easy to forget that the future is never guaranteed…not for us or even our loved ones.

While we wish and hope for a promising future, it’s not a sure thing we should come to expect.

It’s extremely important to have dreams, aspirations and goals in general. It’s what keeps us going. However, never hold yourself back from reaching your full potential.

Take those risks you are so afraid of taking. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Take that vacation you always wanted to take. Take control of all that is important to your life. Make everything mean something. Be confident in all that you do and all that you are. Don’t wait for a circumstance to change itself, change it yourself and change it now!

Be the best version of you today. Give as much as you can today. Stop practicing and embrace the greatest performance we call life every chance that you get. Choose to live your life without boundaries.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen