Why It’s So Hard To Let Go Of Your Past 

memories, past, let go, move on, present, love, enjoy, obsess, past, future, today, yesterday, nostalgia,

I am a happy person. I smile 90 percent of the day. I have all the things I have ever wanted. I am the woman I thought I could be someday.

I have it all.

Has it been easy? Well, that goes without saying… nothing good comes easy. In order to get the rainbow you must first get the storm, that’s for certain.

I was thinking about my past today. A lot of it is beautiful but a lot of it is extremely ugly and painful.

Lyrics get me. They cut me to the core and remind me of my past scars. Think about your past, think about your scars.

Are there some things you wish ended up differently? Are there some people you just miss even though they have already served their purpose? Do you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night forgetting who you are or mourning the person you once were?

Yea, that’s the human condition. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always simple and/or understandable but it is all we have.

I think of a girl who really hurt herself and others years ago and I sometimes even talk to her. I sometimes yell at her.

What the hell were you thinking?!

Why did you let another person define you?

Nostalgia comes with certain songs and places. Today, I am so proud that girl from the past is gone but she’s not forever erased, that’s for sure.

I used to be worse. I used to obsess over the past constantly which quickly led to depression and anxiety. It’s easy to obsess over the past when your present is not what you want.

I love my present but my past still seems to come up. It always will. It’s part of the puzzle that makes me up.

I used to blame others for my circumstance. I now understand I was really just upset with myself. I used to blame my past for my present but now I understand everything really does happen for a reason.

Could I be the extremely happy person I am today without becoming the horrible person I was some years ago? Could I appreciate all that surrounds me had I not detested and protested it in my past?

It’s hard to let go of the past because it distracts you from your present. The past can paralyze you if you let it.

It’s weird but I sometimes miss the ugliness of my past. There’s something beautiful about something so tragic. But I regress. I am a writer, I love writing about pain and human conditions.

I quickly have to remember how beautiful my life and my present is today. It’s great to write about all of it now, but do I really miss it?

Probably not.

I probably miss being so tormented because I had excuses for everything back then. I no longer do. My happiness depends on me. It doesn’t depend on my past or my merits, it depends on who and what I want to be today, right now.

So why is it so hard to let go of your past? It’s hard because it’s something else to concentrate on, it’s hard to let go of the past because sometimes the present isn’t exactly how you want it to be.

How about you figure out what can make you happy today by changing your current situation versus blaming your past circumstance?

It’s so easy to hold onto the past because of the fact that it already happened.  We can’t really analyze the future, can we?

It’s hard to let go of the past because of the fact that it’s like a movie you feel can be changed.

In reality you are who you are today because of the past that makes you you and there’s no need to there’s no reason to hold on to it like a crux. Instead, look at it as a piece of the bigger picture.

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to fully enjoy the present moment, you must let go of the past.

Like I said, I still think about my past sometimes but there’s no need to obsess over it. I do not need to look back on it like it could have been changed. 

It becomes the game of what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, might’ve, been, and that game is one nobody ever wins.

It’s not easy to move on from painful experiences but I do know there’s the possibility for every single human being to heal. Sometimes we need outside resources to help us do this and sometimes we can simply find healing within ourselves.

I know I am no longer a victim of my past but a warrior of my future.


Love Deeply and Forever,


If You Have Ever Wondered Which Product You Should Buy You Need To Read This

buy, choices, store, brand, review, consumer, product, obsessed, decision, wonderI am one of those people who spends hours at the drugstore reading all the labels in order to make an “informed” decision as to what product I should buy.

Given every store has a limited lineup of products, it is safe to say my final decision is not necessarily the best decision.

My greatest disappointment took place one day when I was in the middle of Ulta (one of my favorite beauty stores) and I asked an employee the difference between two of their “Ulta” brand products, their response: “I really don’t know, they seem almost the exact same to me.”

Huh? What do you mean you don’t know? You kinda, sorta work here and represent the brand.

Or how about the time when I was getting a salad bowl (I swear) at Taco Bell and I asked the cashier if she had tried the freaky taco with the egg as the shell and she told me, “Honestly, it grosses me out so I have never even tried it.”

Wait, what? Don’t you work here and represent THIS brand? 

At least both of these employees were being honest, right? They didn’t give me some bullshit response. They let me make the decision I needed to make without being influenced by a biased source.

Needless to say, I don’t ever want to try that strange taco thing and I never purchased that Ulta product again. Mainly because those representing the brand didn’t even believe in their own products or know anything about them.

So what should I buy when confronted with so many options? I often check Google. It is flooded by many one-sided opinions regarding the products in question.

I recently posted a review on food delivery services when I had only tried two of the many companies out there offering the same product. I did it so people could narrow it down once they tried these specific two.

There has to be an easier way to pick the “right” or “best” brand out there then weaving through many Google search results, I have always thought.

I stumbled across this cool site where all the reviews can be found in one place, reviews.com. Not only that, but the reviews are educated ones. They even have an article about food delivery services like the ones I once reviewed, where their writers spent six weeks testing a bunch of different services comparing recipes, dietary restrictions, and novice chef options.

I just got a kitten and I stoked to find an article about the best cat treats on the market. I love that they try products over an extended period of time in order to provide the best and most reliable reviews.

And just like me, those reviewing these many products are obsessed consumers interested in finding the best products and brands to invest in.

It’s as if they are conducting separate focus groups for every product you have ever wondered about. Not only that, but the site is pretty easy to navigate, it includes one tab and a list of all of the products you might be thinking about buying in alphabetical order.

While I continue to use Google for product research, I always go to reviews.com first. I trust them because they have used the products more than once and like to compare and contrast goods and services on one simple site.

I wish I got paid or receieved some sort of incentive for writing this but I don’t. However, I am pretty sure I just saved you from some future grief.

You’re welcome.

How Emotions Can Affect Your Health

sick, emotion, health, hurt, pain, sickness, illness, ailment, mind, body, strong, weak, thoughts, controlI workout, eat healthily and am relatively young. I usually feel amazing when I wake up. My body appreciates how I care for it and is extremely strong and dependable on a daily basis.

My body has not felt so amazing the last few weeks. I have felt my stomach acidity rise and my skin has been suffering as well. I have been more hunched over than usual and today I even experienced a migraine…

These ailments have really taken a toll on me and my attitude on life.

I have lashed out at innocent people, I have been all around grumpy, and even my workouts have suffered. When my body is not at 100 percent neither am I and I am very aware of this fact.

So what changed? Why did I suddenly age 15 years during my birthday month?

My state of mind has drastically changed. Negative emotions have taken over my body. Stress is literally making me sick.

This can happen to us without us noticing. Our stomachs start to churn or our backs suddenly refuse to support our bodies. It can be as simple as a breakout or as complicated as a complete meltdown.

I have to admit I did not handle my stress too well these last few weeks. And that’s the thing about stress, although it seems unavoidable we shouldn’t always have to “handle” it, we should be preventing it. Stress is basically anxiety about oneself, it is a result of insecurities and fears.

I could have avoided physical pain by reassuring myself that I am strong and capable, but because of the fact that I was subconsciously telling myself I was not good enough, my body decided to follow suit.

Ironic, huh?

I honestly believe all sicknesses arise as a result of fear and stress. I have a friend who always tells me the link between body aches and the mind. They explain that every pain I ever feel is related to some negative emotion within my heart and mind.

Although I don’t always want to admit it, my body is rarely wrong. It often speaks much louder than my own thoughts.

I fully understand why I have felt so strange lately and it’s time for my body to stop feeling sorry for itself! I am strong, beautiful, intelligent and capable. I can do everything and anything I put my mind to.

Stress will not be a debilitating factor in my everyday life. I simply will not allow it. Although we can’t avoid having fears, we can avoid letting them control us.

I want to feel great everyday both emotionally and physically. In order to do this, I must keep working at loving not on only my body, but my heart and mind as well. Choose health. Choose positive emotions and affirmations. Choose self-love.

Love Deeply and Forever,