Why Dads Are So Important

dad, dads, children, daughter, family, try, best, emptiness, best, share, world, ready, late, to, forgive, past, missed, survive, survived, characters, never, best, lucky, why, safe, sacrifice, daddy, important, why, role model, male, gender, present, absentFamilies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have one dad, some have two and some have none. Friends can sometimes become family and family are not always necessarily friends. I love all families and know many people have grown up with a lot of love while others had to grow up without it and do it fast.

I love listening to different stories about people’s upbringings because it provides a sense of context for their character. Some people choose to own their past as part of their framework, while others denounce it altogether and continually fight it.

I own my past, and my past and present consist of having a dad. Not just your average dad, literally the best dad. I know a lot of people say this, but I know I am right. He was and is always present in my life.

He was that dad that always meddled. The dad that met with all my teachers. The dad that was never really asleep at night because he wanted to make sure his family was safe at all times. The dad who sacrificed his everything for his family to live well. The dad who shared nothing about his job while he was home. The dad that read me a book every single night. The dad that was (and is still) the great Saint Nick every Christmas.

It hurts me when I hear some people never had a dad. Maybe it’s not even a dad they needed, but overall support and unconditional love from a good role model.

I am all about gender equality, but there is something to be said about male role models in general. They provide a certain sense of security and love I can’t really compare to anything else.

Either way, I want to thank all those dads out there who did and continue to do their best. Those dads that work overtime just to keep their family comfortable. Those dads that save up all their retirement money to help their children buy a house. Those dads who do homework with their kids even after a rough day at work. Those dads that put gas in their kid’s car. Those dads who look at their children like they are their biggest accomplishments. Those dads who adopted other people’s children as their own. Those dads who thought they weren’t ready for fatherhood but later realized it was actually their life calling.

And to those Dads who couldn’t or just weren’t ready to be present for their children: It is never too late. No matter the age, your kids needs you. No matter the circumstance, your kids will forgive you.

What I really want to let you know is that you missed out. Yes, you missed out on watching your children flourish. And although this is true, just know that most of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. Even if you didn’t, I have talked to your children. The void is still there and is still waiting to be filled. Yes, you might have seemed essential to their lives at some point but they survived without you. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know who they became without you?

I always had a dad so I can’t speak for every circumstance, but I do know that there is a large number of people who grew up without a dad or anything resembling one. This made many people stronger and others a lot weaker. Whatever the case, I really hope more dads try to reach out to their estranged children and never stop.

I got lucky, but I still feel for those that feel an emptiness within their hearts. I wish I could just share my dad with the entire world but that goes hand in hand with my desire for world peace. Dads are important, if you happen to have kids, try your best to be one. You don’t have to be the very best dad, but at least try to be there.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

The One Thing You Should Never Forget at Home

forgot, mind, home, thoughts, never, one, thing, positive, forget, focus, present, believe, goals, dream, accomplish, thoughts, dreams, negative, leave, believe,I was at Crossfit yesterday just loving life. I love that point in the day where I can just stop thinking about work and life and just focus on what my body can do.

Working out offers a great sense of relief that helps me navigate through stress and all of life’s noise. I left work a bit stressed out and was very grateful it was now my time to focus on me. Although I was super excited about working out, I forgot to bring something with me today that I can never forget again.

We started doing some push presses and I kept saying, “I can’t.” What a fatal flaw. I learned long ago, that if you say you can’t, you probably won’t. This was definitely the case this time around. I just couldn’t. My workout partner was very supportive and reminded me that I needed to just, “focus.” Easier said than done, right?

I told myself to “focus” and I just kept failing. It wasn’t until I took the “I can’t” mentality out of my head that I was able to completely focus on the task at hand and finally succeed.

Simply telling yourself to “focus” is not enough. You must believe in yourself and take all negative thoughts out of your head to truly reach your potential. The negative should be replaced by only positive affirmations to achieve any personal goal.

I sound like a nauseating self-help book, don’t I? No apologies here, I saw how not focusing directly affected my workout and how that transfers to life in general.

The story doesn’t end there. We moved on to our timed workout and I forgot to believe in myself again. I had no focus. I went to jump on a box and fell to my knees. Literally. I could have broken a bone but I knew I was going to fall before I actually did. Weird, right?

Not really, this happens in real life too. We create safety nets for ourselves in fear of failing. Maybe we take up substances to avoid dealing with things, or maybe we have plan A, B, C, D, E and F. It’s good to be prepared, but never okay to set yourself up for failure. I knew I was going to fall before I did, and guess what? I did.

Any goal we set can be achieved if we just remember to bring our deep “focus” and positive affirmations with us. You can’t leave this stuff at home. I sound like a broken record when I say, “Just be positive.” And although it sounds so basic and cliché, it is true about most things. I admit, some situations cannot be turned into something positive and/or affirmational.

But when it comes with something you want to accomplish, it is easy to forget to focus and believe in yourself. We are our own toughest critics after all…

I realize I learn a new life lesson every day. Whether it is at the gym, work, or home, I am constantly soaking up life knowledge like a sponge. Yesterday’s lesson was focus. Not the artificial kind, but that deep focus that comes from within.

Simply telling yourself to “focus” is sometimes not enough. I had to let go of all my negative thoughts yesterday before I could actually tap into true focus and determination within me.

Remember, if you ever want to get anything done in life, don’t forgot your focus at home. Take it everywhere you go by staying present and clearing your mind of all negativity that might want to sneak in throughout the day.

Stay present. Stay focused. Stay positive.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Are You Always Lovable?

I love to be loved. I love to be spoiled and thought about when I am not around. Love makes me feel secure. Love makes me feel confident. Love makes me feel all the things I have always wanted to feel. And even some ways I never wanted to feel.

I have loved superficially, I have loved naively, I have loved impulsively, I have loved sporadically, I have even “loved” violently. Whether all were really love, is debatable but in that moment it felt like love. At least my version of it at the time.

I used to think maybe I wasn’t deserving of the best type of love or the most healthy type of love, but I always chased after it on some level. Although I got lost along the way, I always knew someone somewhere could one day love me.

I was a little confused about love at one point but I now know I am extremely lovable. I know I am smart, dedicated, kind, loyal, strong, determined and full of love myself. I know I deserve only the best kind of love and I will never settle for less, at least not ever again.

But the question is, am I always lovable?

And the answer is: absolutely not.

I have my days. Those days when I am a total bitch for absolutely no reason. The days that I can’t seem to be on the same page as my partner. The days that I am simply not on the same page as myself. These days are never fun, but they happen. Sometimes my energy is not balanced and sometimes I just have no desire to connect with anyone including myself.

I admit it. I am not always lovable. Sometimes I am less lovable than other days, and some days I am not even lovable at all. You see, love comes from within, and if you are not loving yourself it can be hard for others to love you at all.

I recognize that I have to not always choose to love others but that I also have to always choose to love myself. I mean, who wants to be around someone who hates all that they are? I don’t.

I want to be with someone who has a thirst for life and knowledge. I want to be with someone who never settles for what they already did but looks to see what they will do next.

I have found my person. He is more lovable than I could ever be. He gives more than I could ever give. His love motivates me to do better, be better and love better.

Maybe I am not lovable all the time, but this person always loves me. His love is forgiving and kind. And yes, he is also stubborn. But that’s beside the point. We can’t always be lovable but if we can find someone who can love us at our most un-lovable moments, then man, we have it made.

Choose to be kind. Choose to love you. Choose to be lovable.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen