I love to be loved. I love to be spoiled and thought about when I am not around. Love makes me feel secure. Love makes me feel confident. Love makes me feel all the things I have always wanted to feel. And even some ways I never wanted to feel.
I have loved superficially, I have loved naively, I have loved impulsively, I have loved sporadically, I have even “loved” violently. Whether all were really love, is debatable but in that moment it felt like love. At least my version of it at the time.
I used to think maybe I wasn’t deserving of the best type of love or the most healthy type of love, but I always chased after it on some level. Although I got lost along the way, I always knew someone somewhere could one day love me.
I was a little confused about love at one point but I now know I am extremely lovable. I know I am smart, dedicated, kind, loyal, strong, determined and full of love myself. I know I deserve only the best kind of love and I will never settle for less, at least not ever again.
But the question is, am I always lovable?
And the answer is: absolutely not.
I have my days. Those days when I am a total bitch for absolutely no reason. The days that I can’t seem to be on the same page as my partner. The days that I am simply not on the same page as myself. These days are never fun, but they happen. Sometimes my energy is not balanced and sometimes I just have no desire to connect with anyone including myself.
I admit it. I am not always lovable. Sometimes I am less lovable than other days, and some days I am not even lovable at all. You see, love comes from within, and if you are not loving yourself it can be hard for others to love you at all.
I recognize that I have to not always choose to love others but that I also have to always choose to love myself. I mean, who wants to be around someone who hates all that they are? I don’t.
I want to be with someone who has a thirst for life and knowledge. I want to be with someone who never settles for what they already did but looks to see what they will do next.
I have found my person. He is more lovable than I could ever be. He gives more than I could ever give. His love motivates me to do better, be better and love better.
Maybe I am not lovable all the time, but this person always loves me. His love is forgiving and kind. And yes, he is also stubborn. But that’s beside the point. We can’t always be lovable but if we can find someone who can love us at our most un-lovable moments, then man, we have it made.
Choose to be kind. Choose to love you. Choose to be lovable.
Love Deeply and Forever,