Why Life is All About Limits

limits, growing up, taught, intake, rules, life, why, team, help, spartan, race, all, about, bullshit, humanity,Growing up, we are told to always push ourselves to the limit. We are told to live a life without limits. We are even told the sky is the limit.

I call bullshit.

Of course, we can push ourselves to accomplish our dreams, and if we are determined enough they can all come true. I am not saying that is a lie.

My whole life is an example of this. I have followed my dreams and many of them have already come true, all before I even reach 30. But I am not here to preach about how awesome I am, at least not today.

When it comes to dreaming, I’ll agree, there are no limits. When it comes to real life, I can honestly say everything is about limits.

We are all a little crazy in our own ways. Some of us are OCD, some of us are ADD, and some us have NPD. Whatever the case, some of us take medication and the rest of us just don’t. We must stabilize our own type of crazy in one form or another, at least that’s another thing we are taught while growing up.

For me, I have serious anxiety and alcohol issues. If I don’t exercise, I suffer from severe anxiety attacks. If I don’t control my drinks, I suffer from transforming into a monster. Oh, and don’t even get me started on food… I am currently on Keto and hating every moment of it.

Life is all about limits. We have to constantly limit what and how we say things. We must limit or alcohol intake. We must limit our food intake. We must even limit how often we express emotions and to who we express them to.

I pushed myself to my limits this weekend. I participated in my first Spartan Race. And no, it wasn’t the beginner level, it was the mid-level race. I didn’t train, I didn’t research, I didn’t even eat or hydrate properly.

biiiiiiiiig mistaaaake.

I’ll admit, I did things during this race that I never thought possible. My body impressed me in many ways and made me appreciate all it can do.

But sometime during the race, I reached my physical “limit.” My special diet and lack of water caught up with me, and no matter how hard I tried to shake the pain, my body went into shock and wanted to shut down.

I didn’t let it.

My teammates helped me pull through and I got to that finish line with dirt, mud, and sweat all over my face. I pushed myself till the very end, limits and all. So yes, we all have and can reach our limits but our limits do not define us.

While we should limit things like our sugar intake and TV watching habits, our hearts should never have any limits.

I witnessed many people helping each other out during the race. My team literally carried me when I needed it and I, in turn, helped those who I saw had reached their limits as well.

Humanity can be kind and it can be judgemental as well. We have limits in place for a reason and while I might not always agree, I now know that limits aren’t that bad.

Limits can force us to take serious looks at ourselves and at each other. They can bring people together and they can help us set goals for ourselves and all those around us.

Set your own limits. Do better than you ever have before. But never forget that we all have limitations and they are nothing to be ashamed of, some are to be accepted, others embraced, and some are even meant to be challenged.

What are your limits? Which ones should you challenge and which ones should you not?

Love Deeply and Forever,


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The Best Date I Have Ever Been On

girl, date, tom hanks, important, night, out,best, life, girl, my, movies, the post, writer, journalism, journalist, dreams, abuse, anxiety, grow, moment,laughing, laughter, love, self, love, I went to the movies on Friday. Yes, I went alone. I got all dressed up and decided to have a night all to myself. I went to my favorite fancy movie theater to watch The Post with Tom Hanks.

As I parked my car, I couldn’t help but be super excited about this date night with myself. I looked around me and realized I am at a pretty awesome place in my life. I have all I have I ever wanted and so much more.

In this moment, I thought about more than just how lucky I was. I really began thinking back to all the things I have overcome just to get to this place in my life.

Although I do not wish to disclose every one of my skeletons, I can share the fact that I once used to hate myself. I once abused my body and my heart at all the same time. I once didn’t know or care to know that I had value and that I was deserving of love.

I am not sure if we all go through this stage in life, but I know I did. Anxiety used to plague my thoughts and bitterness would take over most of my days. I was too naive to see that all I have ever wanted resides within me.

Sounds cliché, right? All the answers are within you sounds like a sound bite from a Disney movie. It’s true though. All you have ever longed for can be found in your heart.

I have a quote that often rattles in my head that says, “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” Sylvia Plath said this and I believe her. She also committed suicide but that’s besides the point.

We often want to fill our lives with trashy things and people to hide the fact that we refuse to look at ourselves and what we have become. I know I did this. I didn’t like the sound of silence because it reminded me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be at the time.

I know think I had wrong all along. I love meditating. I love the sound and feeling of stillness. It makes me feel more alive than ever. My body and mind are much more powerful than I ever thought possible and I am grateful for this moment in time. I steal moments with myself and these are the most precious to me.

Once I got into the theater, I bought a glass of my favorite red wine and decided some popcorn was in order. I sat down next to some old couples and just took the moment in.

I watched a movie about all the things I ever dreamed of becoming. A groundbreaking journalist. I am not a traditional journalist as I once thought I would be but I am a content creator that is more diverse in her writing than a strict hard news writer could ever be.

I have not published the contents of the pentagon papers, but I continue to publish my truth every day that I write to all of you. I have even been invited to share my story at a university next week. I never really thought I was important until this point in my life.

Maybe I was too blind to see the fact that I do add value to this world and to lives of those closest to me. I know I do and I will make it my mission to continue to do so. I will make sure to give more, do more and be more. Date nights like these always help the cause. Taking myself out on a date the other night was the best date I have ever had.

Love Deeply and Forever,


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To All The Harvey Weinsteins Of The World

Harvey Weinstein, sexual, assault, harassment, harass, abuse, physical, psychological, pain, universal, story, past, relationship,Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Léa Seydoux, Cara Delevingne, me too, heart, love, worthy, change, broken, friends, family, after, strong, strength, women, men, change, power, strength, strong, intelligence, years, allow, toxic, toxicity, you, withinI decided to post “Me Too” on my Facebook page the other day. I got a whopping two likes I believe. In comparison to my cat posts, it was surely not in contention for the most likes on my feed.

People were not very interested in knowing I have been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed in my past. The good thing is I am glad about this fact. My harassment goes far beyond a trivial Facebook post.

I can honestly say I really don’t care about this Harvey guy. I do care about what he represents. Well, of course, I do. I have been looked at for reasons other than my intelligence.

As a veteran of the used car business, it is safe to say this happened to me often. Wearing dresses shouldn’t ever be an issue. It always was and I never cared. Why? Because dresses are cute and comfortable! I always do my best to dress modestly but it doesn’t change the society we live in.

After thinking long and hard about this one man, I realize I was giving random people too much power regarding this issue. When I think Harvey Weinstein, my thoughts have definitely shifted.

I am now associating the name with an emotional and physical abuser of my past, or the many “Harvey Weinsteins of the World.”

Have you been in that horrible relationship?

The one that was clearly horrible and painful for you yet you stayed because you thought you could never start over? Did you date that one person people begged you to leave for one too many days or years?

I did.

Not only did I allow harassment in my life, I allowed it for years on end. I allowed psychological and physical abuse because I simply did not love myself enough. I did not love myself at all.

I am not afraid to speak my truth. I will share it with you if you ask. I don’t revisit it unless it is to help others. Just like all the “Me Too” posts, I hope someone is out there reading this and can relate. Not because it is something I wish upon anyone else, but because we are all in this together.

We can all learn and lean on each other as pain is universal.

Many of us have hit our rock bottoms in life. Many of us have allowed toxicity into our precious hearts. No matter what type of doctor or friend you tell, there will never really be a clear a cut reason for why we sometimes feel we don’t deserve the very best around us.

I allowed someone to break me. However, it was only temporary. That situation did not and does not define me. What defines me is what came after the fact.

I picked myself up and made myself better. With the help of friends and family, I rose up stronger than ever. I rebuilt my foundation with love and support and vowed to never allow such abuse within my life again.

If you have or are currently going through similar pain, remember, you are not alone. I have been there as have many before me. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you not worthy. You have the power within to overcome this painful moment and demand change.

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of respect. You are worthy of valuable relationships. You are worthy of the very best treatment at all times.

I am glad to see change is happening before my eyes. And though I know it will take many years, I understand I can definitely spark a chain reaction with my story. A story that is too often told. A story that I wish was never written. A story that we can alter the ending of TOGETHER.

Love Deeply and Forever,