I grew up in a bubble created by my parents. The bubble was beautiful, naive and cellophane. It was as real as those fairy tales we read as children. And while it had just about everything I needed as a child, it became something I fought to desperately break away from as an adult.
Since I was a bubble girl living in a bubble world, I learned to be afraid of just about everything. I could never play in the dirt so I was scared of getting dirty. I could never take chances becuase my entire life was calculated. I think I only scraped my knees once and I remember secretely loving it. It was like I was feeling for the first time.
The moment I escaped my bubble was a moment of complete and utter terror. I was scared of everything. I was scared of life. I quickly became my own worst enemy. The only way I thought I could deal was by numbing the pain and hurting myself in more ways than one.
Since I had never felt any pain or suffering, I thought I deserved to feel a little of both for once. I lost balance and sight of what truly mattered as I tried to prove to myself that I was fearless. In my early 20s, fearlessness meant being invincible. It meant pushing yourself to your limits but in the most negative and unproductive of ways.
I am reading a powerful book that states, “Nothing stands between man and his highest ideals and every desire of his heart, but doubt and fear.”
I have doubted myself for most of my life. I lived in fear since the moment I was born. These are the “truths” I have been telling myself throughout the years and these fabricated lies are what have held me back time and time again.
I have experienced a serious shift in my mentality. I believe in dreams again and all that is good. Although I had to experience some darkness and pain to really appreciate the beauty of the world, I finally realize there is nothing to be fearful of.
Of painful moments can come great works of art. Of scary moments can come great feelings of accomplishment. Of doubtful moments can come great moments of clarity.
The trick is to not be paralyzed by fear and doubt but to rise above it and use such feelings as guides for becoming the best possible versions of ourselves.
My magical book also says, “We must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good.” It’s true. The minute we replace fear with faith is the moment fear loses all power over us.
I have become fearless as an adult and not in a careless way but in a spiritual way.
My spirit is fearless. It knows of no limits. It knows dreams are real and can materialize if you just have faith and fight for them. Life shouldn’t be about worst-case scenarious or surviving with the bare minimum. It should be about reaching for more, wanting more, and never settling for less. The moment we settle is the moment we let fear win and let faith die along with our spirit.
Choose bravery. Choose life. Choose more.
Love Deeply and Forever,