The Best Date I Have Ever Been On

girl, date, tom hanks, important, night, out,best, life, girl, my, movies, the post, writer, journalism, journalist, dreams, abuse, anxiety, grow, moment,laughing, laughter, love, self, love, I went to the movies on Friday. Yes, I went alone. I got all dressed up and decided to have a night all to myself. I went to my favorite fancy movie theater to watch The Post with Tom Hanks.

As I parked my car, I couldn’t help but be super excited about this date night with myself. I looked around me and realized I am at a pretty awesome place in my life. I have all I have I ever wanted and so much more.

In this moment, I thought about more than just how lucky I was. I really began thinking back to all the things I have overcome just to get to this place in my life.

Although I do not wish to disclose every one of my skeletons, I can share the fact that I once used to hate myself. I once abused my body and my heart at all the same time. I once didn’t know or care to know that I had value and that I was deserving of love.

I am not sure if we all go through this stage in life, but I know I did. Anxiety used to plague my thoughts and bitterness would take over most of my days. I was too naive to see that all I have ever wanted resides within me.

Sounds cliché, right? All the answers are within you sounds like a sound bite from a Disney movie. It’s true though. All you have ever longed for can be found in your heart.

I have a quote that often rattles in my head that says, “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” Sylvia Plath said this and I believe her. She also committed suicide but that’s besides the point.

We often want to fill our lives with trashy things and people to hide the fact that we refuse to look at ourselves and what we have become. I know I did this. I didn’t like the sound of silence because it reminded me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be at the time.

I know think I had wrong all along. I love meditating. I love the sound and feeling of stillness. It makes me feel more alive than ever. My body and mind are much more powerful than I ever thought possible and I am grateful for this moment in time. I steal moments with myself and these are the most precious to me.

Once I got into the theater, I bought a glass of my favorite red wine and decided some popcorn was in order. I sat down next to some old couples and just took the moment in.

I watched a movie about all the things I ever dreamed of becoming. A groundbreaking journalist. I am not a traditional journalist as I once thought I would be but I am a content creator that is more diverse in her writing than a strict hard news writer could ever be.

I have not published the contents of the pentagon papers, but I continue to publish my truth every day that I write to all of you. I have even been invited to share my story at a university next week. I never really thought I was important until this point in my life.

Maybe I was too blind to see the fact that I do add value to this world and to lives of those closest to me. I know I do and I will make it my mission to continue to do so. I will make sure to give more, do more and be more. Date nights like these always help the cause. Taking myself out on a date the other night was the best date I have ever had.

Love Deeply and Forever,


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Why My Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal And Yours Isn’t Either

I have had loved ones become very sick. I have been faced with mortality and all of that other stuff they never teach you in school.

I have been terrified of my own life and of the inconsistencies life brings in general. This comes with age and wisdom. It can lead some into deep depression or into quite the opposite.

And while we all have our “story” and our sometimes seemingly unfair circumstances,  we must and will go on. In the end it will always be okay.

I have to admit I used to live my life like it was a dress rehearsal. I would make up excuses as to why I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life.

I would stand in my own way of finding success and pure happiness. I always told myself I had to do A B  and C before I could finally take center stage in the performance of my own life.

It’s not until life events shake your entire world that you realize that your life is not a rehearsal. At least that’s what happened to me. I had to experience a brutal wake up call in order to realize that everyday is part of the main act. 

Tomorrow really is not promised. We must forgive people in our hearts each day. We must have grace for all those we share this beautiful world with. We must take action and live a life full of integrity and honesty.

We must be proud of how far we have come and never take the present for granted. It’s easy to forget that the future is never guaranteed…not for us or even our loved ones.

While we wish and hope for a promising future, it’s not a sure thing we should come to expect.

It’s extremely important to have dreams, aspirations and goals in general. It’s what keeps us going. However, never hold yourself back from reaching your full potential.

Take those risks you are so afraid of taking. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Take that vacation you always wanted to take. Take control of all that is important to your life. Make everything mean something. Be confident in all that you do and all that you are. Don’t wait for a circumstance to change itself, change it yourself and change it now!

Be the best version of you today. Give as much as you can today. Stop practicing and embrace the greatest performance we call life every chance that you get. Choose to live your life without boundaries.

Love Deeply and Forever,


How Excuses Can Destroy You

“I didn’t do that because I ran out of time.” “I can’t make it because I already made plans.” “It all got messed up because they didn’t do it right.”

These are just some of the examples people make up to excuse themselves from taking responsibility for their actions.

At the end of the day, no one really cares why you failed at your job. No one wants to hear your “My dog ate my homework,” spiel. It all is irrelevant. The point is, you can’t do something and you also refuse to own up to it.

It is simply human nature to always strive to present ourselves in the best way possible but excuses will never serve us. At restaurants, I often hear servers explain why a meal turned out wrong or why the wait was longer than expected.

No one cares. People don’t want excuses, people want results. If something is wrong, make it right. If something makes someone upset, make them smile and forget.

I am guilty of growing up with a mouthful of excuses as to why I “can’t” do something. Then reality hit. No one cares to hear me complain or whine. My job is to always show up and try my best, regardless of my mental limitations.

My boss doesn’t want to hear the reason as to why I am late, he just wants to know when I will finally show up. My friends don’t want to hear why I can’t make it, they just want to know when I will make it. No one wants to know Jane Doe is the one that is to blame for a problem, they want to make sure it gets resolved and it gets done fast.

We see this everyday. Our peers do it. We do it. Excuses are made to take the blame off of ourselves. It is much more powerful to take ownership of mistakes and take immediate action rather than dwelling on what excuses can be made.

Excuses don’t solve problems, they create more of them. They can destroy our careers and personal lives. People around us will begin to view our word as weak if excuses are all we can provide.

So, what should we do the next time we are tempted to make up an excuse? We should take one step back, analyze the situation and provide a viable solution to the issue at hand. Forget about whose “fault” it was. Forget about your pride. Stay human and humble and take immediate action. Those around you will thank you for it.