Why My 20s Are The Best And Worst Years Of My Life

best, fast, brain, 25, time, irony, naive,worst, 20, 30, 20s, 30s, life, grow, learn, limits, death, rock, bottom, test, age, time, lessons, know, knew, human, love, integrity, wrong, young, heart, I remember being 16. I remember being 11. Anything before that is a complete blur. And after 16, I just remember turning 20. At 20, I knew it all. I was invincible. I was all that and so much more. If someone called, I never answered. If someone wanted to tell me otherwise, I never listened.

21 was always near death. I was testing every and any limit. How much alcohol could my body take? How fast could my car go? How much abuse could my heart handle?

Thinking back, my early 20s were pretty horrific. If pain is glory, then my early 20s were pretty glorious. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. I had a plan I thought would one day magically come together but I was doing everything to keep that from happening. Ironic, huh?

My early 20s were full of irony. I was full of naivety.

At 21, I hit my rock bottom. By 22, I was trying to piece my life back together. I was more lost than I had ever been before. I wanted to meet rejects like me so I did. I hung out with them night and day and thought I was just like them. I was living a double-life as if I had learned absolutely nothing from my troubled past.

By 23, I was still stumbling. I kept falling like baby Bambi.

They say by 25 your brain stops developing and your values become set in stone. It’s true, by 25, I wanted life to hurry the f up. I was tired of making mistakes and decided it was time to settle down. My mind and body felt older than they ever had before. By this point, I knew who I was. I had become a person filled with love, happiness, and integrity.

How did that happen? From 23 to 25 I had grown up. I was still working at my kid job, but there I was, putting in my time and dedication. I learned that inconsistency was a thing of my past and that if you ever want to be respected you must be consistent in everything that you do.

One thing is for sure, I have never loved myself as much as I do today. I am now officially in my late 20s and so proud of my journey. I am proud of every one of my scars. I am proud of all the things I didn’t know that I eventually learned. I am looking forward to learning so much more, about not only myself but humanity in general.

My 20s have been turbulent, to say the least. They have been more beautiful than I ever thought they could be. They have taught me who I am and who I never want to be. They have shown me I am valuable, special and loved.

Above all, they have proved to me that I still have so much more to learn. And so much more to see, feel and listen to. And while I might think I have it all figured out now, I am sure my 30s will prove me to be extremely wrong.

Love Deeply and Forever,


What Does Your Age Say About You?

Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a “grown up.” I wanted the highheels, the hair, the money, etc… I wanted to rush to the finish line before I even knew what that entailed.

I wanted to sprint through all the stages in life and end up at that state of perfection so many books and movies portray.

At 20-something, I am closer to there than here. I am no longer young enough to make excuses as to why “I didn’t know.” Or am I?

I work in the wonderful world of auto finance where experience means everything. The longer you’ve been in the business, the more people will respect you.

Or so I thought.

I used to cringe when I used to walk into a prospective clients office. I thought, “Omg, they are judging me because I am basically like 5 years old trying to act like I know what I am talking about.” Not only that, but the business is dominated by males and I feared being judged for simply being a female as well.

As the years went by, I realized people will always judge you. People will judge the way you walk, talk and simply are. People will always try to maneuver themselves in order to get what they want because, well, we are all human.

Most of what I do is sales and most of what I hear all day is bullshit. No matter the person’s age, the bullshit is the same with a variation in presentation. Some people like the more educated approach while others prefer the friendlier approach. Regardless of the packaging, the contents remains unchanged.

This is exactly how I feel about age. It is a number, a category we have made up to make sense of the world around us.

We place people in the below 20 category or in the above 50 category in order to classify the many people who populate this earth. I get the categories but they do not explain much about the people who make them up.

Experience speaks volume about people as do personal accomplishments. Life events can alter a person’s “age” by making them grow up much quicker than most. In reality, age is relative.

I am 28 but I know I have lived more life than many other 28 year olds. On the other hand, I know 28 year olds who already have multiple children and businesses of their own.

I try to not discriminate people based on any one factor. No matter their age, demographic, or life circumstance. It is easier said than done, I know.

Age is nothing but another category used to separate ourselves from each other.

I say, let’s love and accept blindly. Let’s put our prejudices aside and simply see people for who they are, rather than see them for their age or tax bracket.

I now realize my age really says nothing about me. It’s a number a fill out on forms and I want to live to fill out many more forms to come. I love to speak and learn from people of all ages because they have lived through distinct personal experiences and life lessons that shape who they are today.

My age says I am fortunate to be alive today, what does yours say?

Choose acceptance. Choose to open your heart to all.

Love Deeply and Forever,


The First Time Someone Called Me Old

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I was at a party the other day when someone told me I was old and should be married already. I was offended but then quickly smiled on the inside.

My little sister told me I don’t understand her generation and, once again, I was offended at first, but quickly realized I am grateful for where I am in life.

I’m in the middle. I’m in my late 20s trying to make sense of it all. Was my degree a complete waste of time? Is Snapchat the key to happiness? Should I be using cooler filters on Instagram? Should I be attending social networking parties? Should I be thinking about babies even though I’m clearly not ready?

All these questions and no answers. But you know what? I don’t feel too old. I don’t feel my path is better or worse than the next person. I don’t “get” Snapchat and fine, Instagram is finally growing on me…when it comes to babies, maybe I don’t even want them!

I know I’m not young enough to have excuses for everything. I am proud of how far I have come in life. I take full responsibility for my actions and I refuse to publicize my entire life. I like to maintain my privacy just in case someone Google’s me.

I have fallen. And I have fallen hard. I once thought I would be writing a bunch of books in a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere. Ha. I have a cabin available but I also have a mortgage now, so there goes that idea.

I have made a lot of mistakes and the 16-year-old me would probably call me a sell-out. I abide by societal norms and try my best to always stay happy and positive at all times. Well, at least when people are watching.

I’m still a tortured writer at heart, I still feel my life is in complete disarray. But I have never been prouder of my state of mind.

I refuse to give up on my dreams. I refuse to be a clock-watching robot. I put in maximum effort in all that I do and I walk free and clear of self-doubt and regret.

Maybe I am old. Maybe I’m not getting married like the rest of the 20-somethings around me. Maybe my degree was just another hurdle to cross and that’s all it will ever be. 

None of my accomplishments or life events will ever define me. What defines me is who I am today. What defines me is my strong character, my dedication, my integrity, my positive attitude, my follow-through, my loyalty, my strong work ethic, my outlook on life in general. 

I am on a journey and it is nobody’s but mine. I would rather be me than anybody else and I would rather be my age than any other age. Please call me old, it is one of the greatest compliments.

Love Deeply and Forever,