Why It’s Okay To Need Help

help, helping, okay, need, friend, family, love, support, pride, cowardice, anxiety, future, insecurityAs a 20-something year old, I have learned how to deal with chaos in the most graceful of ways. I don’t cry as often as I used to at the sign of dismay. I try to make the best out of every situation even if it might not seem like it at the moment.

I have done a really good at job keeping it together over the last two years. I always realize I will “be okay” and that one slight bump in the road is not necessarily the end of the world.

I have found zen within my soul on a daily basis. I can drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic with a huge smile on my face and tons of love in my heart.

While I have learned to keep my emotions and life in check (for the most part), I still have my moments. I still have anxiety visit me once in a while. It likes to remind me that I still have a lot more growing and healing to do. It reminds me not to look to far into a future that is still so very uncertain.

The best I can do is remind myself to stay in the present moment and realize life will knock me down more times than I would like to admit. The trick is to fall gracefully.

I broke down last week. I lost my composure. I cried in frustration. It was a true moment of weakness for me. I phoned all the people I care about. I let it all out.

I quickly realized I needed help. I didn’t want to admit that I don’t have my life completely together, but then I realized I don’t and that’s totally okay. Like I have said before, we never really have our shit all the way together. Anxieties will always exist and push us to overcome them in the best way we can.

I hate asking for help. I have always thought it was a sign of weakness. I am not sure where I made this idea up, but it is not healthy to think this way. I am at a point in my life where I do need help sometimes and I have a team of loved ones that are willing to lend a hand.

I feel guilty asking for help because I often feel I have nothing to give others.

And this is where my insecurities come in. Giving does not have to come in a monetary package, we give to others each day whether we feel like we do or not. We give each other love, support, service, advice and comfort. Life is a series of constant exchange.

The minute I talked to my team-my friends and family-I realized I am not alone in the world and asking for help is not a sign of cowardice. I realized I add value to the lives of others and I must acknowledge this each and every day.

I also realized that people want to help those they care about and it’s okay to take part in this exchange.

We are all in this together. Although it is easy to let pride get the best of us, help can give us more power than we ever thought possible. Accept help when needed and remember to help others in need. You never know when the next helpful exchange may happen.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why The Future Doesn’t Matter

future, fortune, cookie, time, love, todayI used to always have anxiety about the future. I worried about who I would be and when I would be it. I couldn’t stand the uncertainty about the future and I seriously considered seeking out a psychic.

Would I have the big house? Would I have the three kids? Would two be boys and one be a girl? Would I be working at some big agency somewhere? Would I be wearing high heels and pantsuits everyday?

Anxiety has been absent from my life for many years now. I don’t stay up at night wondering about the future or how much better it could possibly be than today. So why the change of heart? Why am I not worried about who I will become tomorrow?

It is pretty simple. Tomorrow is not promised. I might not become more or do more than today. But guess what? That’s totally okay.

I do my best to be the best version of myself in the present moment. I try to not take anything or anyone for granted because of the fact that tomorrow might never come.

Of course, having plans for the future is always smart. Studies show people live longer, healthier and happier lives if they have something to look forward to in the future.

I am not saying let all of that go and say F*&^ it. I have plans for the years ahead of me. I have goals I have set in my mind and altered throughout the years.

It is always important to look forward rather than backward when it comes to life. It will help keep you sane. But thinking too much about the future is also unhealthy. If you are too worried about tomorrow, you might not see the beauty in today.

The future should definitely be planned for. It is a possibility but not a certainty. And that’s the funny thing about life. It is all a series of uncertain moments based on a measurement we call time.

While plans are important, the present is the most important. It is all we can really be sure of. The people we care and love about might not be around tomorrow, so let’s make sure we tell them how much we care and appreciate them today.

As many plans as we make, it is always best to understand plans can never truly be concrete and the people around us are never permanent. Instead of worrying about the future, let’s think about how we can make others smile today or feel better about themselves today. Let’s think how we can be kinder and compassionate to all those we come across today.

Envisioning a future and working toward a goal is fantastic, but today is what really matters. Stay Present.

What Goes Through Your Head When Someone Dies…

death

Last night, I was sitting on my couch winding down after a long day. I had a cup of tea in hand and was just about ready to go to bed. I couldn’t help wonder about someone from my past.

It had been days since the initial thought of this person crossed my mind. I wondered who they had become after all these years. I wondered if they were a huge success and now married with kids.

We used to have something, an interesting (yet confusing) friendship. I still couldn’t stop wondering what the present looked like for this person. I could have been a part of their future, I thought, back when I had met them in college. Of course, life happened and we lost touch. Neither of us were really affected by the natural parting of ways.

So, while sipping on my tea, I decided to Google the person from my past I had always wondered about. I was excited to see what they were up to. Maybe they were an entrepreneur and had a gorgeous house and family by now…

The second Google search result down showed they had died in a tragic car accident over a year ago. They had hit a tree and died on impact. I knew it was them because of the description of the car and location. My stomach sank. A tear ran down my relaxed face.

We hadn’t talked in years and we would have probably never reconnected but a sadness came over my entire life. What if I would have died with them years before? What about their family? What about all their friends I had met years ago? Was everyone okay, I thought. Of course they aren’t, they lost a part of them.

I messaged another friend from my past to confirm. Yes, I was right in my assumption. We reminisced about the kids we once were. I couldn’t stop crying of joy and pain. The truth is, as we get older more people will die. More parts of our past and present will disappear.

I still can’t comprehend it. They were so young and recently engaged. They had a whole future ahead of them. I thought of all the moments I stole with them. I thought of the kindness and security I felt with them at a time when my life was complete and utter chaos.

Dear Old Friend, I am saddened by the fact that you are not somewhere out there in the world living a happy life. Thank you for bringing a sense of peace and happiness to my life during my confusing college years and making me feel like I wasn’t alone for a moment.

So, just like that, I feel my past is dead. I feel it almost didn’t happen because some parts of it is not living or breathing. Of course, this is a false pretense and all of it will live on in my memories. My old friend was just as real as my past was and is.

I still can’t help wonder what their future could have been. All the things they had left to do. And to the Fiance of Old Friend, I send you all of my love. You shared moments of your life with a really kind and loving person. May you continue to keep them in your memories and overcome the grief by finding true love once again. I never loved this person, but man, did I care for them. Rest in peace, Old Friend. The world feels less special without you in it.