The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

How To Stay In Love Forever

love, forever, safe, partner,years, communication, success, forever, in love, how, to, words, listen, romantic, lust, more, friends, friendship, heart, importantI have known my love for over 12 years. We have gone through it all. Multiple jobs, partners, and life circumstances. We have despised each other as well as adored each other. It started out as lust and turned into so much more.

I met him and knew he was meant to be in my life forever. I can’t tell you exactly how I knew, but there was definitely something about the way he looked at me. His eyes told stories I could only hope his lips would one day tell.

Life continued to happen and we continued to deeply care for each other. No matter what boyfriend or girlfriend of the week the other had, we couldn’t stay away from each other. We had become a little more than friends throughout the years.

They say timing is everything and I couldn’t agree more. I wanted him to let down his walls. I wanted us to reach the next level. We never did. We stayed romantically stagnant as our lust and friendship grew. Whether one or the other was platonic at the time, I will never know.

Anyway, here we are 12 years later. I am more in love than I ever thought possible.

He is my best friend and so much more. He brings happiness to my every day and makes sure I am always safe and cared for. Our family is growing (with pets of course)!

We are a team with an unbreakable bond. And even when we can’t agree, we still long to be next to each other. We know our souls are meant to be together.

We have different views regarding certain topics but we work well because we both are able to listen to each other. At the end of the day, even our smallest disagreements are productive.

Many couples say communication is key in every relationship. It’s true.

Listening is the most essential part of communication. People never forget the way a person who listened to them made them feel. However, they can easily regret sparking up a conversation with a self-absorbed narcissist.

I now realize that I love listening to my partner because of all those years he spoke but said nothing at the same time. All those years that I yearned to know more about that look in his eyes. We were friends with limitations and now we are a team harnessing the power of listening with the heart.

Remember, some of the most powerful things can be said with absolutely no words. If you just listen closely, you can leave the greatest footprint in the hearts of others.

Find eternal love in listening.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Girls Compare Their New Dude To Their Old Dude

Reasons girls compare their current boyfriends to their ex-boyfriends

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The Eagles sing “Love Will Keep Us Alive.” And while this is one of my favorite songs, romantic relationships need much much more than love to keep them alive. They require maintenance, nurturing and other components that we aren’t always too ready for.

I can honestly say I have experienced great love in my life. I have felt the intense love, the spontaneous love and even the turbulent love. I have had the relationship you weren’t quite ready for and the love you never saw coming. Each love has taught me a lot about myself and for that I am grateful. Each love has also taught me to never dare compare.

With great love comes great responsibility, and sometimes even great consequence. When you love someone, you refuse to let them go and this sometimes leads to arguments. We want our partners to be on the same page as us but that is not always the case. If it were, well, we would be dating ourselves, now wouldn’t we?

So why is it that in the middle of an argument with a new dude I oftentimes compare him to the old dude? I never mean to, it just happens. I think long and hard about how old dude would have never done or said that. What once was begins to hold so much more promise.

I believe girls compare the new dude to the old dude because love can literally lead to insanity. When we feel threatened, we often retreat to what was once so familiar. Healthy or not. Old dude doesn’t seem so bad once new dude exhibits some new flaws you have never experienced before.

I try to be the best version of myself with new dude but I sometimes punish new dude for things the old dude did. It is not his fault someone hurt me so deeply. It is not his fault somebody said the wrong thing in the worst way. It is not new dude’s fault old dude made me second guess myself time and time again.

I think I can’t help but sometimes compare new dude to old dude because of the fact that old dude was so horrible to me. I see any similarities between old dude and new dude as red flags. Differences are welcomed, but only if they work in my favor. If new dude is doing something “better” than old dude, then I am okay with that. But if new dude is failing at something old dude always excelled at, then something must be terribly wrong with me. Did I pick the wrong dude?!

The truth is, I hope to never be hurt again and I do this by analyzing patterns of relationships past. I am stronger in my convictions with new dude because old dude did me so wrong. I am harder on new dude, because, well, he should know better. Is this mentality always fair? No. Is it realistic or productive? No.

Emotional scars are not fun to revisit. And while this is true, we shouldn’t blame new dudes for things old dudes did just because they triggered us to remember past pain in some way, shape or form.

Just because new dude shares similarities with old dude that doesn’t mean new dude is the spawn of Satan. At the end of the day, dudes are dudes. They aren’t always going to get it right, they are always going to read our minds, but new dude should at least be trying his best.

Oh, and one more thing, if something new dude does hurts you, make sure to let him know. Even though you might not want to always tell him exactly why, you might want to just give him a heads up so he doesn’t hurt you the same way old dude did. While there are no guarantees in love, communication can definitely make it less likely to get hurt so deeply or so often.