The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why It’s My Birthday and I Don’t Even Care

birthday, dont, care, why, spoiled, brat, celebrate, party, cry, positive, bittersweet, died, sad, experience, life, 30, almost 30, opportuity, chang, grow up, old, lifeEvery year since I can remember I have celebrated the entire month of September. Why? Because it’s my birthday month, duh. It’s kind of big deal I was born and an even bigger deal that I am still alive.

I have always enjoyed lavish gifts, outings, and parties as part of the celebration of my birth.

Last year was different. I took the day off work and just hung out with myself. It was spectacular, to say the least. I can honestly say it was the best birthday I have ever had. Call me a loner if you will but a birthday spent alone was far from lonely for me.

I grew up always having horrible birthday parties that I would always end up crying at. Later in life, I even had a birthday party where I nearly died (no really). I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and that’s about all I have to say about that one. Well, it’s technically all I can remember about that one…

Maybe I have just always set myself up for disaster. It could be that I have always been a brat and wanted things a certain way only to be disappointed at any signs of the “special” day being less than perfect.

Yea, whatever the reason, my birthdays have always had a lot of build up as well as a lot of pain.

How could this spoiled little San Diego girl be so sad on her birthdays? The world may never know. One thing I do know is that I don’t even care that today is my birthday.

I didn’t count down the days like I usually do. There were no crazy birthday party invitations that were sealed and/or sent. I was set on spending another birthday like I did last year, alone and extremely content.

I guess this year has been bittersweet. I had a lot of downs this year that left me almost believing in nothing. I had moments where my positivity played a dismal effect instead. Not only that but I am getting reallllllly close to 30.

Am I who I thought I would be by 30? Not. Even. Close.

So this year I have just decided not to care. It’s just another day. It’s just another year. Right?

These were my thoughts until I had a conversation with an angel yesterday. The angel told me that today is definitely a day to celebrate. They told me I have to celebrate that I have the opportunity to live, embrace and experience another year of life. They told me that living almost 30 years is a blessing, not a curse.

The angel also told me that I have many opportunities in front of me and that I should seize them. They told me to never stop believing in myself.

The angel heard the doubt and anguish in my voice at the mention of my 20-something birthday. The angel knew I needed to hear a different perspective. I am glad I listened.

I am thankful for all the angels that surround me each day. They often know me more than I even know myself.

So I guess I do care (a little) that it’s my birthday. More importantly, I think my thoughts have shifted from being completely selfish to being selfless so, naturally, my birthday seems a little less important this year.

This year, my family made birthday plans without me even asking. My friends have looked more forward to my day than I have. What a blessing this feeling is-to feel loved, to feel wanted, to feel appreciated, to feel needed.

I have made an impact in the lives of those that matter and that alone is the best birthday gift I have ever received.

No wonder I was so disappointed on all my other birthdays, my objectives were simply misguided. Birthdays are not about creating one special day, but rather creating one special life.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why My Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal And Yours Isn’t Either

I have had loved ones become very sick. I have been faced with mortality and all of that other stuff they never teach you in school.

I have been terrified of my own life and of the inconsistencies life brings in general. This comes with age and wisdom. It can lead some into deep depression or into quite the opposite.

And while we all have our “story” and our sometimes seemingly unfair circumstances,  we must and will go on. In the end it will always be okay.

I have to admit I used to live my life like it was a dress rehearsal. I would make up excuses as to why I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life.

I would stand in my own way of finding success and pure happiness. I always told myself I had to do A B  and C before I could finally take center stage in the performance of my own life.

It’s not until life events shake your entire world that you realize that your life is not a rehearsal. At least that’s what happened to me. I had to experience a brutal wake up call in order to realize that everyday is part of the main act. 

Tomorrow really is not promised. We must forgive people in our hearts each day. We must have grace for all those we share this beautiful world with. We must take action and live a life full of integrity and honesty.

We must be proud of how far we have come and never take the present for granted. It’s easy to forget that the future is never guaranteed…not for us or even our loved ones.

While we wish and hope for a promising future, it’s not a sure thing we should come to expect.

It’s extremely important to have dreams, aspirations and goals in general. It’s what keeps us going. However, never hold yourself back from reaching your full potential.

Take those risks you are so afraid of taking. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Take that vacation you always wanted to take. Take control of all that is important to your life. Make everything mean something. Be confident in all that you do and all that you are. Don’t wait for a circumstance to change itself, change it yourself and change it now!

Be the best version of you today. Give as much as you can today. Stop practicing and embrace the greatest performance we call life every chance that you get. Choose to live your life without boundaries.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen