The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

What Does Your Age Say About You?

Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a “grown up.” I wanted the highheels, the hair, the money, etc… I wanted to rush to the finish line before I even knew what that entailed.

I wanted to sprint through all the stages in life and end up at that state of perfection so many books and movies portray.

At 20-something, I am closer to there than here. I am no longer young enough to make excuses as to why “I didn’t know.” Or am I?

I work in the wonderful world of auto finance where experience means everything. The longer you’ve been in the business, the more people will respect you.

Or so I thought.

I used to cringe when I used to walk into a prospective clients office. I thought, “Omg, they are judging me because I am basically like 5 years old trying to act like I know what I am talking about.” Not only that, but the business is dominated by males and I feared being judged for simply being a female as well.

As the years went by, I realized people will always judge you. People will judge the way you walk, talk and simply are. People will always try to maneuver themselves in order to get what they want because, well, we are all human.

Most of what I do is sales and most of what I hear all day is bullshit. No matter the person’s age, the bullshit is the same with a variation in presentation. Some people like the more educated approach while others prefer the friendlier approach. Regardless of the packaging, the contents remains unchanged.

This is exactly how I feel about age. It is a number, a category we have made up to make sense of the world around us.

We place people in the below 20 category or in the above 50 category in order to classify the many people who populate this earth. I get the categories but they do not explain much about the people who make them up.

Experience speaks volume about people as do personal accomplishments. Life events can alter a person’s “age” by making them grow up much quicker than most. In reality, age is relative.

I am 28 but I know I have lived more life than many other 28 year olds. On the other hand, I know 28 year olds who already have multiple children and businesses of their own.

I try to not discriminate people based on any one factor. No matter their age, demographic, or life circumstance. It is easier said than done, I know.

Age is nothing but another category used to separate ourselves from each other.

I say, let’s love and accept blindly. Let’s put our prejudices aside and simply see people for who they are, rather than see them for their age or tax bracket.

I now realize my age really says nothing about me. It’s a number a fill out on forms and I want to live to fill out many more forms to come. I love to speak and learn from people of all ages because they have lived through distinct personal experiences and life lessons that shape who they are today.

My age says I am fortunate to be alive today, what does yours say?

Choose acceptance. Choose to open your heart to all.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why It’s My Birthday and I Don’t Even Care

birthday, dont, care, why, spoiled, brat, celebrate, party, cry, positive, bittersweet, died, sad, experience, life, 30, almost 30, opportuity, chang, grow up, old, lifeEvery year since I can remember I have celebrated the entire month of September. Why? Because it’s my birthday month, duh. It’s kind of big deal I was born and an even bigger deal that I am still alive.

I have always enjoyed lavish gifts, outings, and parties as part of the celebration of my birth.

Last year was different. I took the day off work and just hung out with myself. It was spectacular, to say the least. I can honestly say it was the best birthday I have ever had. Call me a loner if you will but a birthday spent alone was far from lonely for me.

I grew up always having horrible birthday parties that I would always end up crying at. Later in life, I even had a birthday party where I nearly died (no really). I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and that’s about all I have to say about that one. Well, it’s technically all I can remember about that one…

Maybe I have just always set myself up for disaster. It could be that I have always been a brat and wanted things a certain way only to be disappointed at any signs of the “special” day being less than perfect.

Yea, whatever the reason, my birthdays have always had a lot of build up as well as a lot of pain.

How could this spoiled little San Diego girl be so sad on her birthdays? The world may never know. One thing I do know is that I don’t even care that today is my birthday.

I didn’t count down the days like I usually do. There were no crazy birthday party invitations that were sealed and/or sent. I was set on spending another birthday like I did last year, alone and extremely content.

I guess this year has been bittersweet. I had a lot of downs this year that left me almost believing in nothing. I had moments where my positivity played a dismal effect instead. Not only that but I am getting reallllllly close to 30.

Am I who I thought I would be by 30? Not. Even. Close.

So this year I have just decided not to care. It’s just another day. It’s just another year. Right?

These were my thoughts until I had a conversation with an angel yesterday. The angel told me that today is definitely a day to celebrate. They told me I have to celebrate that I have the opportunity to live, embrace and experience another year of life. They told me that living almost 30 years is a blessing, not a curse.

The angel also told me that I have many opportunities in front of me and that I should seize them. They told me to never stop believing in myself.

The angel heard the doubt and anguish in my voice at the mention of my 20-something birthday. The angel knew I needed to hear a different perspective. I am glad I listened.

I am thankful for all the angels that surround me each day. They often know me more than I even know myself.

So I guess I do care (a little) that it’s my birthday. More importantly, I think my thoughts have shifted from being completely selfish to being selfless so, naturally, my birthday seems a little less important this year.

This year, my family made birthday plans without me even asking. My friends have looked more forward to my day than I have. What a blessing this feeling is-to feel loved, to feel wanted, to feel appreciated, to feel needed.

I have made an impact in the lives of those that matter and that alone is the best birthday gift I have ever received.

No wonder I was so disappointed on all my other birthdays, my objectives were simply misguided. Birthdays are not about creating one special day, but rather creating one special life.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen