Why Dads Are So Important

dad, dads, children, daughter, family, try, best, emptiness, best, share, world, ready, late, to, forgive, past, missed, survive, survived, characters, never, best, lucky, why, safe, sacrifice, daddy, important, why, role model, male, gender, present, absentFamilies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have one dad, some have two and some have none. Friends can sometimes become family and family are not always necessarily friends. I love all families and know many people have grown up with a lot of love while others had to grow up without it and do it fast.

I love listening to different stories about people’s upbringings because it provides a sense of context for their character. Some people choose to own their past as part of their framework, while others denounce it altogether and continually fight it.

I own my past, and my past and present consist of having a dad. Not just your average dad, literally the best dad. I know a lot of people say this, but I know I am right. He was and is always present in my life.

He was that dad that always meddled. The dad that met with all my teachers. The dad that was never really asleep at night because he wanted to make sure his family was safe at all times. The dad who sacrificed his everything for his family to live well. The dad who shared nothing about his job while he was home. The dad that read me a book every single night. The dad that was (and is still) the great Saint Nick every Christmas.

It hurts me when I hear some people never had a dad. Maybe it’s not even a dad they needed, but overall support and unconditional love from a good role model.

I am all about gender equality, but there is something to be said about male role models in general. They provide a certain sense of security and love I can’t really compare to anything else.

Either way, I want to thank all those dads out there who did and continue to do their best. Those dads that work overtime just to keep their family comfortable. Those dads that save up all their retirement money to help their children buy a house. Those dads who do homework with their kids even after a rough day at work. Those dads that put gas in their kid’s car. Those dads who look at their children like they are their biggest accomplishments. Those dads who adopted other people’s children as their own. Those dads who thought they weren’t ready for fatherhood but later realized it was actually their life calling.

And to those Dads who couldn’t or just weren’t ready to be present for their children: It is never too late. No matter the age, your kids needs you. No matter the circumstance, your kids will forgive you.

What I really want to let you know is that you missed out. Yes, you missed out on watching your children flourish. And although this is true, just know that most of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. Even if you didn’t, I have talked to your children. The void is still there and is still waiting to be filled. Yes, you might have seemed essential to their lives at some point but they survived without you. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know who they became without you?

I always had a dad so I can’t speak for every circumstance, but I do know that there is a large number of people who grew up without a dad or anything resembling one. This made many people stronger and others a lot weaker. Whatever the case, I really hope more dads try to reach out to their estranged children and never stop.

I got lucky, but I still feel for those that feel an emptiness within their hearts. I wish I could just share my dad with the entire world but that goes hand in hand with my desire for world peace. Dads are important, if you happen to have kids, try your best to be one. You don’t have to be the very best dad, but at least try to be there.

Love Deeply and Forever,


A Letter To My Police Detective Dad

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I think about you every day. I think of how you were a police detective for 35 years and I never heard one story about your days on the beat.

I think of all the times you helped me with my homework. You did this every night. No matter the overtime or the long hours, you always made sure to come home to do homework with me. It even got to a point where I knew all the answers but you insisted we go over it together anyway. You always made sure to read to me and let me escape into those books with you.

You were the first male girl scout leader and the best one at that! You were involved in everything I ever did. From the moment you taught me to ride a bike, to the moment I had my first heartache, there you were. My superhero. Saving the day for his first-born.

You always made sure to shelter me from the world you saw every day. And to this day, I wonder, what world did you see? I thought I would be a police officer like you one day but you said absolutely not. You wished a better future for me. You went as far as building a small but powerful empire for our family.

You have never liked photos, recognition or even gifts. You tell my sister and me to just save up our money. I don’t get why you won’t let others give back, but I hope this letter is a step in the right direction.

Dad, you were the first man I ever loved.

You always held me close to your heart and you still do. You still ask me, “When are you moving back home?” Even though it’s been a decade since I left. I feel your love in the beautiful new house you helped me find.

You caught all these bad guys. You were, and are, a force to reckon with. But when it comes to your daughters, I know you melt. As do we for you. Your unconditional love drives me every single day. By example you have shown me to be strong, loving, caring, selfless, dedicated, consistent, loyal, dignified, respectful, smart, strategic, and so much more.

I guess the most powerful lesson you have taught me is to always stay on my “mission” and never give up. I have never given up on anything because I hear your voice in my heart. Your strength makes me stronger every single day.

I know you always wanted a son but you got me instead. I think it turned out better this way. You made me more of a boy than a girl. You taught me to have thick skin and to always hold my head up high. You taught me to take responsibility for all of my actions. You never laid a hand on me and that taught me to never let a man disrespect me. And while I did get lost for a minute, I quickly found myself with your help.

You have always saved me but I am starting to learn to save myself.

Although I wish you could live forever, I know that is simply not possible. I don’t want to think of that right now, but I do want to ask you to please take care of your health. I don’t want to be sad for many years to come so please stay with us as long as you possibly can. We need you. My mom, sister and I need you more than we need anybody else. You are our strength, our guidepost, our protector.

You taught me what to look for in a future husband and I have gotten pretty close. I have you to thank you for that. I have you to thank you for all the happiness and love in my heart. Who knew a police detective could be full of so much love?

Dad, you have made me more resilient than I ever thought I could be. I have pushed myself to my limits because you have taught me that I can do and be anything I want to be. You have taught me hard work pays off and I will keep working until I see the payoff, I promise.

Above all, you have always been my greatest supporter.

I have never felt alone. I have never thought giving up is an option. I try my best to show you how independent I can be, but in the end, I will always be your little girl. No matter where you are, I feel your spirit and life lessons guiding everything I do.

Thank you, Detective, for being the most present dad in all of the land. Thank you for giving us everything you possibly can. We love you more than we love ourselves.

Love Forever,