Why Dads Are So Important

dad, dads, children, daughter, family, try, best, emptiness, best, share, world, ready, late, to, forgive, past, missed, survive, survived, characters, never, best, lucky, why, safe, sacrifice, daddy, important, why, role model, male, gender, present, absentFamilies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have one dad, some have two and some have none. Friends can sometimes become family and family are not always necessarily friends. I love all families and know many people have grown up with a lot of love while others had to grow up without it and do it fast.

I love listening to different stories about people’s upbringings because it provides a sense of context for their character. Some people choose to own their past as part of their framework, while others denounce it altogether and continually fight it.

I own my past, and my past and present consist of having a dad. Not just your average dad, literally the best dad. I know a lot of people say this, but I know I am right. He was and is always present in my life.

He was that dad that always meddled. The dad that met with all my teachers. The dad that was never really asleep at night because he wanted to make sure his family was safe at all times. The dad who sacrificed his everything for his family to live well. The dad who shared nothing about his job while he was home. The dad that read me a book every single night. The dad that was (and is still) the great Saint Nick every Christmas.

It hurts me when I hear some people never had a dad. Maybe it’s not even a dad they needed, but overall support and unconditional love from a good role model.

I am all about gender equality, but there is something to be said about male role models in general. They provide a certain sense of security and love I can’t really compare to anything else.

Either way, I want to thank all those dads out there who did and continue to do their best. Those dads that work overtime just to keep their family comfortable. Those dads that save up all their retirement money to help their children buy a house. Those dads who do homework with their kids even after a rough day at work. Those dads that put gas in their kid’s car. Those dads who look at their children like they are their biggest accomplishments. Those dads who adopted other people’s children as their own. Those dads who thought they weren’t ready for fatherhood but later realized it was actually their life calling.

And to those Dads who couldn’t or just weren’t ready to be present for their children: It is never too late. No matter the age, your kids needs you. No matter the circumstance, your kids will forgive you.

What I really want to let you know is that you missed out. Yes, you missed out on watching your children flourish. And although this is true, just know that most of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. Even if you didn’t, I have talked to your children. The void is still there and is still waiting to be filled. Yes, you might have seemed essential to their lives at some point but they survived without you. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know who they became without you?

I always had a dad so I can’t speak for every circumstance, but I do know that there is a large number of people who grew up without a dad or anything resembling one. This made many people stronger and others a lot weaker. Whatever the case, I really hope more dads try to reach out to their estranged children and never stop.

I got lucky, but I still feel for those that feel an emptiness within their hearts. I wish I could just share my dad with the entire world but that goes hand in hand with my desire for world peace. Dads are important, if you happen to have kids, try your best to be one. You don’t have to be the very best dad, but at least try to be there.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why I Forgive and Forget

forgive, forget, forgiveness, grace, gratitude, present, power, emotion, love, heart, healthI listened to an interesting NPR podcast about criminals the other day. It posed the question of whether criminals can be reformed. It explained that some can, others cannot.

What I will never forget about this specific episode is the fact that they talked about personalities and how they are not fixed things.

We would like to believe that people close to us are, and forever will be, a certain way, when in reality they can make a rash decision at any given point in time.

The human condition is not a predicatable thing. Although we like to categorize it at such, we are all imperfect humans with desires, instincts, and impulses. Some people can surpress these things, while others let these things get the best of them. So when people say things like “He was the nicest guy,” yet he happened to slay someone, this stark contradiction says it all.

As we are all a part of the human condition, I recently decided to forgive and forget all of those who have commited transgressions against me in the past. It’s not necessarily the easiest thing, but it is definitely the healthiest thing.

We all make mistakes. We all stray from the predictable personalities those around us believe make up our whole being.

Here’s the thing, I used to hold grudges like they were my favorite accessory. I refused to let them go because of my ego. It wasn’t until I developed severe anxiety that I realized grudges did not serve me. I had knots in my shoulders every day and thoughts that just refused to let me be.

I have decided I want to live my life in the present. I have decided that I do not wish to give others any power over my life and/or my emotions. And guess what never hurts anymore? My shoulders. Guess what never gets the best of me anymore? My ego.

I used to think forgiveness was for the weak but I now realize you don’t have to actually say “I forgive you.” Forgiveness can take place within the depths of our hearts. It need not be shared.

I forgive people all day. I understand they are on their own journey and that it sometimes bleeds into their everyday interactions. I forgive people who have hurt me in the past because it allows me to take my power back.

Of course, there is a fine line. Although I forgive and forget, I do not allow negative energy within my life. I have a peaceful bubble I have created filled with love, gratitude, forgiveness, and grace. Those that wish to join me are welcome, and those who wish to destroy it can retreat.

I know those that have caused me harm in the past saw a bit of themselves within me. I forgive them. We are all on the greatest journey we call life together, and I cannot judge others or their actions nor do I wish to. That will all work itself out in the end, but for now, I live a life full of forgiveness because that is what makes my heart shine brighter than any star in the sky.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Revenge Is a Bad Idea

revenge, job, sorry, poor, weak, lindsay lohan, mean girls, rude, mean, universe, eye for eye, forgive, kind, love, resent, anger, betray, steal, abuse, hurt, pain, life, karma, consequence, nowhere,kindnessI used to be a mean girl. Yes, like the ones in the Lindsay Lohan movie. I was rude and thought everyone was out to get me. After some rude awakenings, I realized being mean would get me nowhere fast.

I turned to spirituality and have been as kind as I can possibly be to those around me ever since. I figure we are all on our own personal journey just trying to make sense of it all. The kinder we are to one another, the better the world will be.

Have people been mean to me? Of course. Have people made fun of me? Well, duh. Have people stolen from me? Sadly, yes. Have people lied to my face? Unfortunately. Have people betrayed me? Multiple times. Have people cheated me? Oh yea.

Many people have done me wrong. Many people have hurt me. Many people have negatively impacted my life. If you were to ask highschool me whether or not these people should get a “taste” of their own medicine, I would say, “Most definitely! Let’s go ruin some lives!”

What do I say today? It’s simply not worth it.

Revenge is pointless. There is no use in putting any more time or energy into situations, things or people who simply do not serve me. I should never try to give others a taste of what I think they deserve. Why? Because it is not my job to punish people.

I believe in karma and a lot of other things. I believe people will live a miserable life if they hurt others. I believe the more you give, the more you will get. I believe that kindness and love are stronger than anything else on this earth.

Above all, I believe in forgiving people who have never apologized.

I forgive you for hurting me.

I forgive you for being rude to me.

I forgive you for judging me.

I forgive you for stealing from me.

I forgive you for betraying me.

I forgive you for abusing me.

I forgive all those people who have done me wrong because they have a certain darkness within their heart and soul. I feel sorry for them and hope they find happiness. I hope they can find a beautiful light to guide them on this journey we call life.

Seeking out revenge is not my job, it is the Universe’s. Those that are poor of spirit will soon meet their Consequence if they haven’t already. I know it sometimes feels just to hold grudges and stay angry at people for years to come. But guess what? That is giving weak people too much power over you.

It is healthier to let go and forgive. You will live a longer and more fulfilling life if you can let go of anger and resentments and replace them with love and forgiveness. I used to think revenge was sweet but I now know kindness is oh so much sweeter.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen