Memories and Mimosas Over Memorial Day Weekend

mimosas, drinks, drink, wine, memories, memorial day, nostalgia, fun, sun, girls, strong, love, weekend, flamingo, mind, friends, people, happiness, sinfulThis weekend I decided to throw caution to the wind. My girlfriend invited me to her pool party and I just couldn’t say no.

Even though I could never wear a bathing suit, I said, whatever, let’s party! Not only that, but I can’t even drink anymore because I am in my late 20s rather than my early 20s.

Things have definitely changed. Hangovers are not welcomed and blacking out is not cute. Getting lost in random cities is also not trendy, not even with Uber and Lyft around.

I put on my latest summer dress and decided I would go hang out with my good friend. The good friend who I always used to get into trouble with. I sure have missed her, I thought. I went to buy wine at the market so I could just play it safe the whole day.

Boy, was I wrong. All of a sudden, and out of nowhere, red, white and blue Jell-O shots showed up! The mimosas were endless. Very few people paid any attention to the food on the BBQ or the water that was nowhere to be found (except in the pool).

I started floating on a pink flamingo alongside my two new friends, all of us with strong cocktails in hand. The day was perfect and more people started showing up. All of which I had partied with at some point in my life.

My mind went traveling back in time. I remembered all those hazy nights and confusing mornings. I remember being newly single and wanting the world at my fingertips. I remember just wanting to party until grad school started in the fall. I felt broken and confused, just wanting to forget it all.

They were fun yet troubling times. I was in the midst of a huge transformation and I knew it. This pool party took me back to so many places. I couldn’t help but smile. At my naivety and stupidity in general. But beneath all the darkness, was a girl who was about to be reborn and that is why I smiled so fondly at those memories.

Saturday was full of happiness, sun, and sinful cocktails. Just me and a bunch of beautiful girls still trying to figure out this life. All of us are a little bit older, a little bit wiser and still full of so much love and hope.

Thank you for your visit, Sweet Nostalgia. It is always a pleasure to feel with you again.

Love Deeply and Forever,
Karen

The Power of Empathy

empathy, love, understand, journey, story, example, objective, advise, life, loveI have a lot of girlfriends who call me with their drama. I am all about girl power and being the most powerful woman possible. However, there is one thing I have learned at 20-something that I never knew before. Although some guys are a little stupid when it comes to reading girls, they are not always completely clueless.

When my friends tell me about their issues with their boys, I always try to be objective. Of course, I love my girls, but the male species is one to really admire. I love how straight to the point they are and how they only do exactly what is asked of them. They don’t seem to over-analyze mundane situations or try to make basic things a bigger deal than they already are.

I had a girlfriend tell me she really appreciates my point of view when she is stuck in the middle of an argument with her guy. I try to make her see that he is not the devil or the scum of the earth and I advise her to try to understand where he is coming from and why he is the way he is.

We all have baggage. We are all walking around with the weight of our own lives on our shoulders. It’s important to not forget this fact while communicating with others.

Sometimes being right is not all it’s cracked up to be. Giving others grace is something I learned not too long ago but, man, I am glad I finally did. I don’t stress out about things or people that are out of my control. I no longer get upset with people who give me attitude because I know it’s not personal.

Empathy is defined as the action of understanding the feelings, thoughts, and/or experiences of others without them ever explicitly stating them. It is really just the ability to forgive people without them ever saying sorry. Empathy gives us the power to have patience with others. It allows us to be kinder and live longer and healthier lives with minimal stress.

I choose to be empathetic with everyone that I meet. I understand everyone has their own story and that story dictates many of their daily actions and attitudes. I often see people lose their patience because they simply lack empathy. Let’s make sure to share the gift of empathy with those around us. The power of example can in turn drive the power of empathy.

Why Girls Compare Their New Dude To Their Old Dude

Reasons girls compare their current boyfriends to their ex-boyfriends

triangle

The Eagles sing “Love Will Keep Us Alive.” And while this is one of my favorite songs, romantic relationships need much much more than love to keep them alive. They require maintenance, nurturing and other components that we aren’t always too ready for.

I can honestly say I have experienced great love in my life. I have felt the intense love, the spontaneous love and even the turbulent love. I have had the relationship you weren’t quite ready for and the love you never saw coming. Each love has taught me a lot about myself and for that I am grateful. Each love has also taught me to never dare compare.

With great love comes great responsibility, and sometimes even great consequence. When you love someone, you refuse to let them go and this sometimes leads to arguments. We want our partners to be on the same page as us but that is not always the case. If it were, well, we would be dating ourselves, now wouldn’t we?

So why is it that in the middle of an argument with a new dude I oftentimes compare him to the old dude? I never mean to, it just happens. I think long and hard about how old dude would have never done or said that. What once was begins to hold so much more promise.

I believe girls compare the new dude to the old dude because love can literally lead to insanity. When we feel threatened, we often retreat to what was once so familiar. Healthy or not. Old dude doesn’t seem so bad once new dude exhibits some new flaws you have never experienced before.

I try to be the best version of myself with new dude but I sometimes punish new dude for things the old dude did. It is not his fault someone hurt me so deeply. It is not his fault somebody said the wrong thing in the worst way. It is not new dude’s fault old dude made me second guess myself time and time again.

I think I can’t help but sometimes compare new dude to old dude because of the fact that old dude was so horrible to me. I see any similarities between old dude and new dude as red flags. Differences are welcomed, but only if they work in my favor. If new dude is doing something “better” than old dude, then I am okay with that. But if new dude is failing at something old dude always excelled at, then something must be terribly wrong with me. Did I pick the wrong dude?!

The truth is, I hope to never be hurt again and I do this by analyzing patterns of relationships past. I am stronger in my convictions with new dude because old dude did me so wrong. I am harder on new dude, because, well, he should know better. Is this mentality always fair? No. Is it realistic or productive? No.

Emotional scars are not fun to revisit. And while this is true, we shouldn’t blame new dudes for things old dudes did just because they triggered us to remember past pain in some way, shape or form.

Just because new dude shares similarities with old dude that doesn’t mean new dude is the spawn of Satan. At the end of the day, dudes are dudes. They aren’t always going to get it right, they are always going to read our minds, but new dude should at least be trying his best.

Oh, and one more thing, if something new dude does hurts you, make sure to let him know. Even though you might not want to always tell him exactly why, you might want to just give him a heads up so he doesn’t hurt you the same way old dude did. While there are no guarantees in love, communication can definitely make it less likely to get hurt so deeply or so often.