Why it’s Okay to be Sad

sad, why, okay, to feel, life, growth, enough, afraid, heal,feelings, express, learn, grow, spiritual, journey, cry, mad, sad, upset, feel, outlet, action, change,I used to constantly be sad while growing up. I can’t explain why I just was. I never fit in, I was never good enough, and life in general just seemed unbearable. It wasn’t until recently that I embarked on my spiritual journey and realized I am, and always will be, enough.

Although I have finally found sweet serenity within my soul, I still have my moments. Those moments when I realize I probably didn’t sleep enough. Or those moments when I have a ‘tude for absolutely no reason. And while I used to lose myself to anxiety during these less-than-perfect moments, I came to realize that would never serve me on my journey.

There’s a specific reason for why I write. It has always been an outlet for me, my safe place. It is where I can feel everything I want to feel, no judgments. Okay, so maybe people judge me while reading my blog… but that’s okay, my own written words never will and that, to me, will always be worth it.

You might not like to write, you might be an artist. Or maybe you’re a chef. Whatever your passion may be, rest assured that it will always bring you great mental health. Outlets let you express your feelings in ways you might have never thought possible and they can offer relief from the stresses of mundane life.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized it’s okay to have dark moments. It’s okay to write the hell out of them or bake pies like there is no tomorrow. It’s okay to clean your house beyond reason just because you feel like you don’t have your life together. These are all methods for dealing with feelings.

I truly believe it’s okay to feel sad, mad, or irritated for no reason. But guess what? There usually is one or several underlying reasons. Maybe your boss got on your nerves the other day or your boyfriend forgot it was your anniversary weeks ago. Whatever the reason, just know that there usually is one.

We must feel these emotions to properly heal and learn how to move forward in life. If we ignore what or why we feel things, I promise you will continue to feel the same day after day. There will be no change or catharsis, just an empty pit of sorrow and regret.

When I feel negative things nowadays, I try not to lash out at others. Of course, I sometimes fail, but I do my best to deal with my emotions within myself.

I often talk to myself to try to figure out why and what I am feeling in that moment. Sometimes the answers are extremely clear and sometimes they are just not, and that it also totally okay. The point is to try, the point is to grow as a result of each and every one of our emotions.

Sometimes I even have to write it all down to figure out the nonsense. I do my best to learn more about my emotions and the emotions of everyone around me. Listening to our feelings rather than dismissing them is not easy but it is extremely beneficial. I understand that the more I understand myself, the more I can understand others.

So the next time you feel sad, don’t wipe away your tears. Let yourself cry until you can’t cry anymore. If you are mad, let yourself think all those horrible thoughts until they finally escape your mind.

Once you allow yourself to feel you can then take a step back and look at the factors that contribute to those particular feelings. Once you figure that out, find ways to make yourself and your situation better. Feelings are what make us human so let’s try to not run away from them, but rather let them flow through us and teach us what we have been afraid of learning all along.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why It’s So Hard To Let Go Of Your Past 

memories, past, let go, move on, present, love, enjoy, obsess, past, future, today, yesterday, nostalgia,

I am a happy person. I smile 90 percent of the day. I have all the things I have ever wanted. I am the woman I thought I could be someday.

I have it all.

Has it been easy? Well, that goes without saying… nothing good comes easy. In order to get the rainbow you must first get the storm, that’s for certain.

I was thinking about my past today. A lot of it is beautiful but a lot of it is extremely ugly and painful.

Lyrics get me. They cut me to the core and remind me of my past scars. Think about your past, think about your scars.

Are there some things you wish ended up differently? Are there some people you just miss even though they have already served their purpose? Do you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night forgetting who you are or mourning the person you once were?

Yea, that’s the human condition. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always simple and/or understandable but it is all we have.

I think of a girl who really hurt herself and others years ago and I sometimes even talk to her. I sometimes yell at her.

What the hell were you thinking?!

Why did you let another person define you?

Nostalgia comes with certain songs and places. Today, I am so proud that girl from the past is gone but she’s not forever erased, that’s for sure.

I used to be worse. I used to obsess over the past constantly which quickly led to depression and anxiety. It’s easy to obsess over the past when your present is not what you want.

I love my present but my past still seems to come up. It always will. It’s part of the puzzle that makes me up.

I used to blame others for my circumstance. I now understand I was really just upset with myself. I used to blame my past for my present but now I understand everything really does happen for a reason.

Could I be the extremely happy person I am today without becoming the horrible person I was some years ago? Could I appreciate all that surrounds me had I not detested and protested it in my past?

It’s hard to let go of the past because it distracts you from your present. The past can paralyze you if you let it.

It’s weird but I sometimes miss the ugliness of my past. There’s something beautiful about something so tragic. But I regress. I am a writer, I love writing about pain and human conditions.

I quickly have to remember how beautiful my life and my present is today. It’s great to write about all of it now, but do I really miss it?

Probably not.

I probably miss being so tormented because I had excuses for everything back then. I no longer do. My happiness depends on me. It doesn’t depend on my past or my merits, it depends on who and what I want to be today, right now.

So why is it so hard to let go of your past? It’s hard because it’s something else to concentrate on, it’s hard to let go of the past because sometimes the present isn’t exactly how you want it to be.

How about you figure out what can make you happy today by changing your current situation versus blaming your past circumstance?

It’s so easy to hold onto the past because of the fact that it already happened.  We can’t really analyze the future, can we?

It’s hard to let go of the past because of the fact that it’s like a movie you feel can be changed.

In reality you are who you are today because of the past that makes you you and there’s no need to there’s no reason to hold on to it like a crux. Instead, look at it as a piece of the bigger picture.

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to fully enjoy the present moment, you must let go of the past.

Like I said, I still think about my past sometimes but there’s no need to obsess over it. I do not need to look back on it like it could have been changed. 

It becomes the game of what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, might’ve, been, and that game is one nobody ever wins.

It’s not easy to move on from painful experiences but I do know there’s the possibility for every single human being to heal. Sometimes we need outside resources to help us do this and sometimes we can simply find healing within ourselves.

I know I am no longer a victim of my past but a warrior of my future.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

How Money Bought Me Happiness

money, happy, happiness, material, food, pamper, responsible, sad, mood, down, love, self love, work, hard, reward, princess, spoil, yourself, youI have felt a little strange this week. Last week was spectacular, I was on top of the world. This week, ehhh, not so much. I was waking up in weird funks every morning without any reason or rhyme.

I have yet to figure out the reason behind this week’s mood, but maybe there isn’t a reason. Even if there is one, I am not sure I even really care. Sometimes moods go up and sometimes they go down and there is no need to understand every single thing in the world.

It could be the weather. It could be because it is a Tuesday. It could be because office morale is down. It could be because money is tight. It could be because you are frustrated with your best friend. It could be because your husband was rude. It could be because all your music sucks. It could be because Trump.

The list goes on and on of possible reasons your mood could be down. I don’t know my reason but I do know my solution. I decided to love on myself. I always love myself, don’t get me wrong. I mean, I am pretty awesome after all. But this week I decided to amplify the self-love.

How did I do that? I pampered myself. I got a massage, I went out to nice restaurants, I bought some beauty products. I spent the money I often feel I don’t have enough of and just LIVED.

I mean, that’s what money does right? It helps us live and helps us live well. Of course, it doesn’t buy happiness but it does buy a little comfort.

I know I have things to work on. I know I have things to heal from. I forever am a beautiful work in progress just like the next human I come across. However, this specific week I just needed to show myself more love. My heart requires it and my soul continually fights for it.

Self-love does not require a dime. You can go paint your nails or run a hot bath. You can grab a piece of paper and just write. You can go on a beautiful hike. You can go on a walk on a pier. Self-love can be found anywhere.

I decided to self-love myself more materialistically this week and that’s okay. I deserved it. I have been working really hard to make money recently and I wanted to see that at work. I wanted to make myself feel like a princess. And I did.

I am thinking next week I will slow my roll. I won’t buy that $15 salad, I will go back to making my own… Oh, Wait! Next week is my birthday! Nevermind, I will go back to being responsible the week after next. I promise. Haha.

No matter why you are feeling down, make sure you are not forgetting to love yourself. I talk a lot about love, peace, serenity and all that junk but I sometimes forget all of that lies within myself.

I like words of affirmation from others, I like acts of service from others, I like gifts from others, but one of the strongest and purest of loves comes from me.

I am the one that gets me more than anybody else and for that, I am extremely thankful. Choose you. Choose self-love. Choose what feels good.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen