Why it’s Okay to be Sad

sad, why, okay, to feel, life, growth, enough, afraid, heal,feelings, express, learn, grow, spiritual, journey, cry, mad, sad, upset, feel, outlet, action, change,I used to constantly be sad while growing up. I can’t explain why I just was. I never fit in, I was never good enough, and life in general just seemed unbearable. It wasn’t until recently that I embarked on my spiritual journey and realized I am, and always will be, enough.

Although I have finally found sweet serenity within my soul, I still have my moments. Those moments when I realize I probably didn’t sleep enough. Or those moments when I have a ‘tude for absolutely no reason. And while I used to lose myself to anxiety during these less-than-perfect moments, I came to realize that would never serve me on my journey.

There’s a specific reason for why I write. It has always been an outlet for me, my safe place. It is where I can feel everything I want to feel, no judgments. Okay, so maybe people judge me while reading my blog… but that’s okay, my own written words never will and that, to me, will always be worth it.

You might not like to write, you might be an artist. Or maybe you’re a chef. Whatever your passion may be, rest assured that it will always bring you great mental health. Outlets let you express your feelings in ways you might have never thought possible and they can offer relief from the stresses of mundane life.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized it’s okay to have dark moments. It’s okay to write the hell out of them or bake pies like there is no tomorrow. It’s okay to clean your house beyond reason just because you feel like you don’t have your life together. These are all methods for dealing with feelings.

I truly believe it’s okay to feel sad, mad, or irritated for no reason. But guess what? There usually is one or several underlying reasons. Maybe your boss got on your nerves the other day or your boyfriend forgot it was your anniversary weeks ago. Whatever the reason, just know that there usually is one.

We must feel these emotions to properly heal and learn how to move forward in life. If we ignore what or why we feel things, I promise you will continue to feel the same day after day. There will be no change or catharsis, just an empty pit of sorrow and regret.

When I feel negative things nowadays, I try not to lash out at others. Of course, I sometimes fail, but I do my best to deal with my emotions within myself.

I often talk to myself to try to figure out why and what I am feeling in that moment. Sometimes the answers are extremely clear and sometimes they are just not, and that it also totally okay. The point is to try, the point is to grow as a result of each and every one of our emotions.

Sometimes I even have to write it all down to figure out the nonsense. I do my best to learn more about my emotions and the emotions of everyone around me. Listening to our feelings rather than dismissing them is not easy but it is extremely beneficial. I understand that the more I understand myself, the more I can understand others.

So the next time you feel sad, don’t wipe away your tears. Let yourself cry until you can’t cry anymore. If you are mad, let yourself think all those horrible thoughts until they finally escape your mind.

Once you allow yourself to feel you can then take a step back and look at the factors that contribute to those particular feelings. Once you figure that out, find ways to make yourself and your situation better. Feelings are what make us human so let’s try to not run away from them, but rather let them flow through us and teach us what we have been afraid of learning all along.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

My Reaction To The SoCal Fire

fire, socal, anaheim hills, burn, cloud,dark,oc, orange county, talk, neighbor, spirit, orange, anaheim, tustin, freeway, 91 freeway, love,reaction, community, listen, cry, tears, sadness, heartI woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face. I mean, my boyfriend just presented a gorgeous engagement ring to me. Things are looking up for me. I finally got the job I have always dreamed of, I can’t complain.

I drove to work super excited about what this last full week at my current job would bring. I want to finish strong and never falter, I thought. Just as was getting lost in my many selfish thoughts, I drove through what seemed like an amber cloud, except this cloud had no end.

It was early in the morning but the sky was dark and haunting.

We had a fire recently so it looked like a bit of deja vu. I thought maybe there was a different explanation, maybe a residual effect of the recent eclipse? I mean, what else could it be?

I kept driving. I decided not to worry. It was much too early on a Monday to worry about anything.

I got to my first stop of the day and my phone started ringing. It was a coworker. He told me to be careful because there was a huge fire in the middle of my usual Monday route. I froze. Another fire? Seriously? When will all of this chaos end?

I went about my day as normal as possible doing my best to avoid the forbidden 91 East freeway. I thought of the most strategic way to get to where I needed to go. It was a success, I encountered very little traffic.

All was well until I got on the 91 West freeway. I couldn’t believe how fluid the freeway was around 3 pm on a holiday. Woohoo! But then I saw it. I saw a huge black cloud of smoke ahead of me. As I approached the cloud, I looked to my left and saw flames much taller than myself taking over the mountain I so often drive next to.

Suddenly traffic didn’t matter, suddenly I didn’t even matter.

I have to admit I admire nature but I am not a tree hugger. No matter what I am or what I am not, I stared straight into the eye of the fire and burst into tears. It was overwhelming. The fire was literally a few feet away from me.

I kept driving and the flames were endless. My tears shed because of all the people who might be affected by this. My tears shed because it hurt to see such beautiful land go up in flames.

I so often take this long strip of nature for granted. I drive next to it often yet think nothing of it. I just expect it to always be there. Today I realized it will not always be there, and even if it is, it was forever changed today.

I called as many loved ones as I could. I told them I loved them. I told them I was safe. I did what I should do every single day regardless of nature’s wrath. This fire reminds me that everything can literally change in a matter of seconds. People have lost all of their memories and sense of safety today.

To all those affected:

My heart breaks with yours. I am sorry you have had to endure such a loss and/or trauma. And while things might seem irreparable right now, remember that your spirit can never be broken. Remember that you are a part of a larger community and that you are and will never be alone. If you need to talk, reach out to me, I am always here to listen. If not me, reach out to your fellow neighbor.

And to the brave responders and volunteers: I am sending you all of my love and strength, thank you for all of your heart, bravery and hard work. You are changing the course of history as we speak.

Today was not the best of days for many, but let’s all make sure to make tomorrow better by letting all those around us know they matter and that we care.

Love Always and Forever,

Karen

Is There Ever A Reason For a Mass Shooting?

las vegas, massacre, death, kill, shoot, shooter, mass shotting, mandalay bay, country, music, concert, rifle, crazy, insance, pyschopath, mental, ill, sick, angry, upset, hate, love, together, story, why, matter, reason, motive, matter, death, casualties, survive, involved, help, donate, gofundme, heart, give,I know this topic is trending. I know many political issues will come to the fore again. I dislike writing about what everyone else is but my heart aches, so I will go with what my heart wants to write about.

I go to Las Vegas very often. I also regularly attend shows and concerts there. Last time I went to Vegas I had the lingering thought that something terrible could happen while there. And while these thoughts do not serve me, they do plague many minds.

How could they not? With so many recent violent acts, it is hard not to be afraid.

I heard a witness say this morning that he really doesn’t care “why” this person did this. I must agree with him.

I don’t care what you are going through, who you are angry with, who did you wrong, why you are dissatisfied with your life or the reasons you jotted down on paper or in your mind, there is no real “motive” or “reason” for killing innocent people.

I know we are obsessed with finding reasons for all tragedies. I know it is difficult not to put issues, incidents, and things into certain categories to better understand them.

I do much the same, I often want to know more about the “killer” or the person we have to blame for so much pain during such instances. I watch a lot of real crime and forensic shows so I often want to play detective myself.

I don’t want to do that today. I don’t care who this guy was. We have already made so many killers famous through means of their channeled hate. I choose love and I choose to help those affected in any way possible.

I don’t usually donate money to anything, mostly because I don’t have much to give, but that all changed today. I don’t have much to give, but I will give what I can with all of my heart… I donated to the Las Vegas Victims’ Fund GoFundMe page this morning. I didn’t do it for myself, I did it for all of the families affected by this tragedy. I really didn’t have a choice.

This tragedy hits extremely close to home for me. Las Vegas really does feel like a second home for me, it’s definitely my safe haven. I go there to escape the routine and just have a good time (as do most people).

To The Killer: You are a coward. I don’t care why you did this, but I do care that you have instilled fear and pain among humanity in general. I will do what I can to help those that survived and the families of all those involved. I want to know about the people affected, I want to know their stories, I want to know no more about you.

You will only bring us closer together.

I have a friend who I lost to suicide. And while I wish I knew the reason “why”, it really doesn’t even matter anymore. He is gone and nothing will bring him back. The same goes for all those lost and wounded during this massacre. The “why” someone decided to this is inconsequential, in the end, it really doesn’t matter.

What does matter is what we do as a society after such an incident.

I do often wonder if my friend was always mentally ill or if it was a sheer moment of panic that took him over. The same goes for this horrible gunman, I wonder if you were always sick or if you went through a sick moment. But then I think, if I do find this out, will it finally put my heart and mind at ease?

Probably not.

Is there ever a motive or reason for a mass shooting? No. We all have free will and unfortunately some choose to provoke pain upon others and/or themselves.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen