The Best Date I Have Ever Been On

girl, date, tom hanks, important, night, out,best, life, girl, my, movies, the post, writer, journalism, journalist, dreams, abuse, anxiety, grow, moment,laughing, laughter, love, self, love, I went to the movies on Friday. Yes, I went alone. I got all dressed up and decided to have a night all to myself. I went to my favorite fancy movie theater to watch The Post with Tom Hanks.

As I parked my car, I couldn’t help but be super excited about this date night with myself. I looked around me and realized I am at a pretty awesome place in my life. I have all I have I ever wanted and so much more.

In this moment, I thought about more than just how lucky I was. I really began thinking back to all the things I have overcome just to get to this place in my life.

Although I do not wish to disclose every one of my skeletons, I can share the fact that I once used to hate myself. I once abused my body and my heart at all the same time. I once didn’t know or care to know that I had value and that I was deserving of love.

I am not sure if we all go through this stage in life, but I know I did. Anxiety used to plague my thoughts and bitterness would take over most of my days. I was too naive to see that all I have ever wanted resides within me.

Sounds cliché, right? All the answers are within you sounds like a sound bite from a Disney movie. It’s true though. All you have ever longed for can be found in your heart.

I have a quote that often rattles in my head that says, “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” Sylvia Plath said this and I believe her. She also committed suicide but that’s besides the point.

We often want to fill our lives with trashy things and people to hide the fact that we refuse to look at ourselves and what we have become. I know I did this. I didn’t like the sound of silence because it reminded me that I wasn’t where I wanted to be at the time.

I know think I had wrong all along. I love meditating. I love the sound and feeling of stillness. It makes me feel more alive than ever. My body and mind are much more powerful than I ever thought possible and I am grateful for this moment in time. I steal moments with myself and these are the most precious to me.

Once I got into the theater, I bought a glass of my favorite red wine and decided some popcorn was in order. I sat down next to some old couples and just took the moment in.

I watched a movie about all the things I ever dreamed of becoming. A groundbreaking journalist. I am not a traditional journalist as I once thought I would be but I am a content creator that is more diverse in her writing than a strict hard news writer could ever be.

I have not published the contents of the pentagon papers, but I continue to publish my truth every day that I write to all of you. I have even been invited to share my story at a university next week. I never really thought I was important until this point in my life.

Maybe I was too blind to see the fact that I do add value to this world and to lives of those closest to me. I know I do and I will make it my mission to continue to do so. I will make sure to give more, do more and be more. Date nights like these always help the cause. Taking myself out on a date the other night was the best date I have ever had.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

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How To Get Your Dream Job

dream, job, work, dedication, kind, hard, how, to, give up, stuck, timing, hope, believe, how to, degree, school, learn, life, purpose, enough, thankful, best, hard, dream, life, fake, itI have been writing my entire life and always hoped it would be something I could do for my entire life. I have gone to school and gotten all the degrees I needed to get to make this my career.

My parents always told me that the degree was the key to my success. My professors always told me I had a gift. I have tried to share this gift with the world only to have doors slammed in my face.

Recruiters have said they are looking for someone with 10 plus years experience. They have also described they want someone who has a proven “track record,” of their persuasive writing skills.

I have always been perplexed. What do you mean? My A+ papers in college don’t count? All of my teachers’ words of encouragement are not enough to prove I am skilled at my craft?

Absolutely not.

This all became loud and clear to me throughout the years. I felt like a failure for a long time. I felt stuck.

I have never been a person who is okay with settling. I have always loved challenges to my intelligence and believed my dream job would offer this for the rest of my life.

I even got to the point where I realized the only way I could share my gift with the world was to give it away for free. So, I did just that. I helped everyone pro bono with no desire to be compensated in any way.

I think that’s when everything changed. I started doing what I loved for fun. I never gave up. I started writing every day. I started acting like I already had my dream job. I thought, “I know I can fake it ’till I make it.”

The most important part of my journey is the fact that I gave my all at my current job no matter what.

Even if it wasn’t my “dream job” it was my job for today and I was thankful for that. I was thankful for living a comfortable life filled with delicious food and amazing relationships. I was thankful for feeling a sense of continuity and stability for so many years.

I even bought a house and a car. I started filling up my life will all the things that aligned with my dream job. I figured the job would come if I just made room for it. I told myself I was worthy of a fulfilling career. I did this all while never holding back at my current job.

I tried to be the best at what I did because that was what I was taught to do. I have the mentality of: If I am going to clean bathrooms, I will be the best bathroom cleaner you have ever seen. And guess what? This type of hard work never goes unnoticed. I even had clients nickname me, “Cinderell-y.”

Timing is everything. No matter what anyone ever tells you, you need to know that timing is always on your side. If you ever feel like giving up, remember everything happens exactly when it is supposed to.

And while we oftentimes fall into funks where we think we haven’t accomplished enough or achieved our sole life purpose, remember that every day you can make a difference. You can do this through acts of kindness, hard work and sincere dedication in all that you do.

If you want the dream job, be sure to first create your dream life.

What Does Your Age Say About You?

Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a “grown up.” I wanted the highheels, the hair, the money, etc… I wanted to rush to the finish line before I even knew what that entailed.

I wanted to sprint through all the stages in life and end up at that state of perfection so many books and movies portray.

At 20-something, I am closer to there than here. I am no longer young enough to make excuses as to why “I didn’t know.” Or am I?

I work in the wonderful world of auto finance where experience means everything. The longer you’ve been in the business, the more people will respect you.

Or so I thought.

I used to cringe when I used to walk into a prospective clients office. I thought, “Omg, they are judging me because I am basically like 5 years old trying to act like I know what I am talking about.” Not only that, but the business is dominated by males and I feared being judged for simply being a female as well.

As the years went by, I realized people will always judge you. People will judge the way you walk, talk and simply are. People will always try to maneuver themselves in order to get what they want because, well, we are all human.

Most of what I do is sales and most of what I hear all day is bullshit. No matter the person’s age, the bullshit is the same with a variation in presentation. Some people like the more educated approach while others prefer the friendlier approach. Regardless of the packaging, the contents remains unchanged.

This is exactly how I feel about age. It is a number, a category we have made up to make sense of the world around us.

We place people in the below 20 category or in the above 50 category in order to classify the many people who populate this earth. I get the categories but they do not explain much about the people who make them up.

Experience speaks volume about people as do personal accomplishments. Life events can alter a person’s “age” by making them grow up much quicker than most. In reality, age is relative.

I am 28 but I know I have lived more life than many other 28 year olds. On the other hand, I know 28 year olds who already have multiple children and businesses of their own.

I try to not discriminate people based on any one factor. No matter their age, demographic, or life circumstance. It is easier said than done, I know.

Age is nothing but another category used to separate ourselves from each other.

I say, let’s love and accept blindly. Let’s put our prejudices aside and simply see people for who they are, rather than see them for their age or tax bracket.

I now realize my age really says nothing about me. It’s a number a fill out on forms and I want to live to fill out many more forms to come. I love to speak and learn from people of all ages because they have lived through distinct personal experiences and life lessons that shape who they are today.

My age says I am fortunate to be alive today, what does yours say?

Choose acceptance. Choose to open your heart to all.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen