Why My 20s Are The Best And Worst Years Of My Life

best, fast, brain, 25, time, irony, naive,worst, 20, 30, 20s, 30s, life, grow, learn, limits, death, rock, bottom, test, age, time, lessons, know, knew, human, love, integrity, wrong, young, heart, I remember being 16. I remember being 11. Anything before that is a complete blur. And after 16, I just remember turning 20. At 20, I knew it all. I was invincible. I was all that and so much more. If someone called, I never answered. If someone wanted to tell me otherwise, I never listened.

21 was always near death. I was testing every and any limit. How much alcohol could my body take? How fast could my car go? How much abuse could my heart handle?

Thinking back, my early 20s were pretty horrific. If pain is glory, then my early 20s were pretty glorious. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. I had a plan I thought would one day magically come together but I was doing everything to keep that from happening. Ironic, huh?

My early 20s were full of irony. I was full of naivety.

At 21, I hit my rock bottom. By 22, I was trying to piece my life back together. I was more lost than I had ever been before. I wanted to meet rejects like me so I did. I hung out with them night and day and thought I was just like them. I was living a double-life as if I had learned absolutely nothing from my troubled past.

By 23, I was still stumbling. I kept falling like baby Bambi.

They say by 25 your brain stops developing and your values become set in stone. It’s true, by 25, I wanted life to hurry the f up. I was tired of making mistakes and decided it was time to settle down. My mind and body felt older than they ever had before. By this point, I knew who I was. I had become a person filled with love, happiness, and integrity.

How did that happen? From 23 to 25 I had grown up. I was still working at my kid job, but there I was, putting in my time and dedication. I learned that inconsistency was a thing of my past and that if you ever want to be respected you must be consistent in everything that you do.

One thing is for sure, I have never loved myself as much as I do today. I am now officially in my late 20s and so proud of my journey. I am proud of every one of my scars. I am proud of all the things I didn’t know that I eventually learned. I am looking forward to learning so much more, about not only myself but humanity in general.

My 20s have been turbulent, to say the least. They have been more beautiful than I ever thought they could be. They have taught me who I am and who I never want to be. They have shown me I am valuable, special and loved.

Above all, they have proved to me that I still have so much more to learn. And so much more to see, feel and listen to. And while I might think I have it all figured out now, I am sure my 30s will prove me to be extremely wrong.

Love Deeply and Forever,


Why I Want to Have Kids

baby, parent, children, mommy, raise, lessons, support, love, beauty, kids, children, child, world, want to, I am not married or ready for kids in any way but I do know I want them eventually. I don’t want them because they will fulfill me. I don’t want them because I feel they are my sole life purpose.

I want them because I love learning. I want them because I want to leave this earth knowing I left behind a living breathing human that I tried my best not to totally mess up.

I always look at children and parents fondly. There is definitely something magical about being a parent. I know there is an amazing bond unparalleled to anything else in the world. The main reason I know this is because of experience. I grew up thinking my parents were always judging me when in reality they full-heartedly supported me no matter what my decision.

Would I cry if I was pregnant tomorrow? Probably. I am not ready today nor do I think you are ever really ready to create and raise a little human being to be less messed up than you while growing up.

I do want to have a child at some point in my life though. I want to have those ironic moments when you look into your child’s eye and you learn more powerful lessons than you ever thought possible.

I want to hold their hand until they start pulling away because they think they are too “grown up.”

Considering what a horrible little teenage girl I was, I know I will have a child much the same. Bring it on. I want to know why I was the way I was. I want to feel the love and pain my parents felt as a result of my behavior.

I want it all.

I don’t want to sugarcoat life for my children but I do want to keep them a bit sheltered for as long as I can. Why? Because every lesson comes at its own time. I want to admire their innocence from a far and fondly smile at the moments that will never be again.

I know some people simply don’t want to have kids ever. That is totally fine too. I know the decision is dependent on a lot of factors. I know some people think this world is too ugly to bring a baby into it. To each their own, right?

No matter how ugly the world can be it can also be stunningly beautiful. I want to share the beauty of it with a family all my own. I want to raise children to have a life a little bit better than mine.

I am in no rush but becoming a parent is definitely something I am looking forward to.

Love Deeply and Forever,


The Best Skills To Have In Any And Every Career

Who am I? I ask myself this quite often as I am in the process of marketing myself. I have gone through a lot of schooling and realized the best life lessons are those never taught to you in school.

So what are the best skills to have in any and every career ever? What skills will forever transfer across our resumes and make us more than just marketable, but likeable and reliable as well?

Adaptability and integrity.

I have always been a creature of structure and routine. I love rules and direct instruction. The truth is, life is not structured in any way. Things will be thrown at us and it is our job to open our minds and hearts to change in order to adapt to every which environment and situation. This will push us to take action instead of living in fear no matter what the circumstance. If we can take sour lemons and make something that resembles lemonade than life will always taste amazing.

The second lesson life has taught me is that having integrity is everything. It is easy to do the right thing when people are watching and praising us but the true test is whether we can do the same when no one is around. It is important do the right thing at all times, not only when it is going to make us look good. If we stay consistent by living a life full of integrity it will be much harder for us to falter even in times of weakness.

It doesn’t matter what field we train in or what dream job we pursue so as long as we stay true to ourselves and the ever-changing world around us. By being adaptable we can take continuous action instead of freezing in place and by having integrity we can maintain a certain level of continuity within our life and our relationships. So, in reality the best skills to have in any and every career are the same as the best skills to have in everyday life.