Why Dads Are So Important

dad, dads, children, daughter, family, try, best, emptiness, best, share, world, ready, late, to, forgive, past, missed, survive, survived, characters, never, best, lucky, why, safe, sacrifice, daddy, important, why, role model, male, gender, present, absentFamilies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have one dad, some have two and some have none. Friends can sometimes become family and family are not always necessarily friends. I love all families and know many people have grown up with a lot of love while others had to grow up without it and do it fast.

I love listening to different stories about people’s upbringings because it provides a sense of context for their character. Some people choose to own their past as part of their framework, while others denounce it altogether and continually fight it.

I own my past, and my past and present consist of having a dad. Not just your average dad, literally the best dad. I know a lot of people say this, but I know I am right. He was and is always present in my life.

He was that dad that always meddled. The dad that met with all my teachers. The dad that was never really asleep at night because he wanted to make sure his family was safe at all times. The dad who sacrificed his everything for his family to live well. The dad who shared nothing about his job while he was home. The dad that read me a book every single night. The dad that was (and is still) the great Saint Nick every Christmas.

It hurts me when I hear some people never had a dad. Maybe it’s not even a dad they needed, but overall support and unconditional love from a good role model.

I am all about gender equality, but there is something to be said about male role models in general. They provide a certain sense of security and love I can’t really compare to anything else.

Either way, I want to thank all those dads out there who did and continue to do their best. Those dads that work overtime just to keep their family comfortable. Those dads that save up all their retirement money to help their children buy a house. Those dads who do homework with their kids even after a rough day at work. Those dads that put gas in their kid’s car. Those dads who look at their children like they are their biggest accomplishments. Those dads who adopted other people’s children as their own. Those dads who thought they weren’t ready for fatherhood but later realized it was actually their life calling.

And to those Dads who couldn’t or just weren’t ready to be present for their children: It is never too late. No matter the age, your kids needs you. No matter the circumstance, your kids will forgive you.

What I really want to let you know is that you missed out. Yes, you missed out on watching your children flourish. And although this is true, just know that most of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. Even if you didn’t, I have talked to your children. The void is still there and is still waiting to be filled. Yes, you might have seemed essential to their lives at some point but they survived without you. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know who they became without you?

I always had a dad so I can’t speak for every circumstance, but I do know that there is a large number of people who grew up without a dad or anything resembling one. This made many people stronger and others a lot weaker. Whatever the case, I really hope more dads try to reach out to their estranged children and never stop.

I got lucky, but I still feel for those that feel an emptiness within their hearts. I wish I could just share my dad with the entire world but that goes hand in hand with my desire for world peace. Dads are important, if you happen to have kids, try your best to be one. You don’t have to be the very best dad, but at least try to be there.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why My 20s Are The Best And Worst Years Of My Life

best, fast, brain, 25, time, irony, naive,worst, 20, 30, 20s, 30s, life, grow, learn, limits, death, rock, bottom, test, age, time, lessons, know, knew, human, love, integrity, wrong, young, heart, I remember being 16. I remember being 11. Anything before that is a complete blur. And after 16, I just remember turning 20. At 20, I knew it all. I was invincible. I was all that and so much more. If someone called, I never answered. If someone wanted to tell me otherwise, I never listened.

21 was always near death. I was testing every and any limit. How much alcohol could my body take? How fast could my car go? How much abuse could my heart handle?

Thinking back, my early 20s were pretty horrific. If pain is glory, then my early 20s were pretty glorious. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. I had a plan I thought would one day magically come together but I was doing everything to keep that from happening. Ironic, huh?

My early 20s were full of irony. I was full of naivety.

At 21, I hit my rock bottom. By 22, I was trying to piece my life back together. I was more lost than I had ever been before. I wanted to meet rejects like me so I did. I hung out with them night and day and thought I was just like them. I was living a double-life as if I had learned absolutely nothing from my troubled past.

By 23, I was still stumbling. I kept falling like baby Bambi.

They say by 25 your brain stops developing and your values become set in stone. It’s true, by 25, I wanted life to hurry the f up. I was tired of making mistakes and decided it was time to settle down. My mind and body felt older than they ever had before. By this point, I knew who I was. I had become a person filled with love, happiness, and integrity.

How did that happen? From 23 to 25 I had grown up. I was still working at my kid job, but there I was, putting in my time and dedication. I learned that inconsistency was a thing of my past and that if you ever want to be respected you must be consistent in everything that you do.

One thing is for sure, I have never loved myself as much as I do today. I am now officially in my late 20s and so proud of my journey. I am proud of every one of my scars. I am proud of all the things I didn’t know that I eventually learned. I am looking forward to learning so much more, about not only myself but humanity in general.

My 20s have been turbulent, to say the least. They have been more beautiful than I ever thought they could be. They have taught me who I am and who I never want to be. They have shown me I am valuable, special and loved.

Above all, they have proved to me that I still have so much more to learn. And so much more to see, feel and listen to. And while I might think I have it all figured out now, I am sure my 30s will prove me to be extremely wrong.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why It’s So Hard To Let Go Of Your Past 

memories, past, let go, move on, present, love, enjoy, obsess, past, future, today, yesterday, nostalgia,

I am a happy person. I smile 90 percent of the day. I have all the things I have ever wanted. I am the woman I thought I could be someday.

I have it all.

Has it been easy? Well, that goes without saying… nothing good comes easy. In order to get the rainbow you must first get the storm, that’s for certain.

I was thinking about my past today. A lot of it is beautiful but a lot of it is extremely ugly and painful.

Lyrics get me. They cut me to the core and remind me of my past scars. Think about your past, think about your scars.

Are there some things you wish ended up differently? Are there some people you just miss even though they have already served their purpose? Do you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night forgetting who you are or mourning the person you once were?

Yea, that’s the human condition. It’s not always pretty, it’s not always simple and/or understandable but it is all we have.

I think of a girl who really hurt herself and others years ago and I sometimes even talk to her. I sometimes yell at her.

What the hell were you thinking?!

Why did you let another person define you?

Nostalgia comes with certain songs and places. Today, I am so proud that girl from the past is gone but she’s not forever erased, that’s for sure.

I used to be worse. I used to obsess over the past constantly which quickly led to depression and anxiety. It’s easy to obsess over the past when your present is not what you want.

I love my present but my past still seems to come up. It always will. It’s part of the puzzle that makes me up.

I used to blame others for my circumstance. I now understand I was really just upset with myself. I used to blame my past for my present but now I understand everything really does happen for a reason.

Could I be the extremely happy person I am today without becoming the horrible person I was some years ago? Could I appreciate all that surrounds me had I not detested and protested it in my past?

It’s hard to let go of the past because it distracts you from your present. The past can paralyze you if you let it.

It’s weird but I sometimes miss the ugliness of my past. There’s something beautiful about something so tragic. But I regress. I am a writer, I love writing about pain and human conditions.

I quickly have to remember how beautiful my life and my present is today. It’s great to write about all of it now, but do I really miss it?

Probably not.

I probably miss being so tormented because I had excuses for everything back then. I no longer do. My happiness depends on me. It doesn’t depend on my past or my merits, it depends on who and what I want to be today, right now.

So why is it so hard to let go of your past? It’s hard because it’s something else to concentrate on, it’s hard to let go of the past because sometimes the present isn’t exactly how you want it to be.

How about you figure out what can make you happy today by changing your current situation versus blaming your past circumstance?

It’s so easy to hold onto the past because of the fact that it already happened.  We can’t really analyze the future, can we?

It’s hard to let go of the past because of the fact that it’s like a movie you feel can be changed.

In reality you are who you are today because of the past that makes you you and there’s no need to there’s no reason to hold on to it like a crux. Instead, look at it as a piece of the bigger picture.

I know it’s easier said than done, but in order to fully enjoy the present moment, you must let go of the past.

Like I said, I still think about my past sometimes but there’s no need to obsess over it. I do not need to look back on it like it could have been changed. 

It becomes the game of what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, might’ve, been, and that game is one nobody ever wins.

It’s not easy to move on from painful experiences but I do know there’s the possibility for every single human being to heal. Sometimes we need outside resources to help us do this and sometimes we can simply find healing within ourselves.

I know I am no longer a victim of my past but a warrior of my future.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen