The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

How Your Attitude Can Change People Around You

attitude, people, strangers, work, job, thank you, connect, energy, journey, story, happy, smile, integrity, impact, goodbye, leave, change, see, heard, appreciate,As I previously mentioned, I am currently in the process of leaving a job of over 5 years. I am visiting all current and past clients and saying my respects. It almost feels as if I am dying in a weird way. I say this because of every person’s reaction to my news.

I can’t say I have ever felt as appreciated as I do today.

In real life, grown-up life, the life that happens after you are all done with your schooling, there are no report cards. There are rarely even any pats on the back. People expect you to do your job, do it right and never falter. The only time people usually take notice is if you fail them in some way.

I have worked really hard to establish lasting relationships at my job. I did this by always trying to stay positive. I have always smiled at everyone I encounter even when my day is not going my way.

I have always taken the time to say thank you and ask people what it is that they are going through. I first did this to pass the time, but I quickly realized other people’s journeys are always interesting to listen to. They put my own into perspective and help me get to know their hearts.

As I am saying my goodbyes, I can’t help but realize how much I have been loved throughout my 5 years at this company. I have had a lot of teary eyes and amazing heartfelt hugs surround me these past two weeks.

I have had people said some of the most beautiful words like, “You are the only person who comes in here and says nice things to us,” to “You are beautiful, brilliant and will do great wherever you go in life,” to “Over the last 5 years I have only seen you down once!”

My favorite was, “It’s like you’re going on an amazing vacation and not taking any of us with you!”

It feels like people are writing in my yearbook. It feels amazing to know I have made an impact in so many lives. People have told me my energy is contagious and that my smile is what they will miss most. It was hard to see such words coming as I worked so hard over the years for no other reason than that of excelling at my job for my own satisfaction.

I did everything with integrity so that when this moment came, people could look at me and not complain. It is humbling to not only have no complaints, but to have so many beautiful words directed at my heart.

I have seen people slam the doors behind them, and that is all great and dandy. To each their own, as they say. But I really have to let the world know that I am feeling as I say goodbye to my company of so many years. It is something I have never felt before. It is something I hope everyone can experience at some point in their life.

I feel valued, appreciated, loved, noticed, but most importantly, I feel like I am part of the fabric that weaves their individual stories.

I feel more than blessed, I feel honored. Thank you to all of those people who have expressed their feelings to me. I feel seen, heard and forever remembered.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why It’s Okay To Need Help

help, helping, okay, need, friend, family, love, support, pride, cowardice, anxiety, future, insecurityAs a 20-something year old, I have learned how to deal with chaos in the most graceful of ways. I don’t cry as often as I used to at the sign of dismay. I try to make the best out of every situation even if it might not seem like it at the moment.

I have done a really good at job keeping it together over the last two years. I always realize I will “be okay” and that one slight bump in the road is not necessarily the end of the world.

I have found zen within my soul on a daily basis. I can drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic with a huge smile on my face and tons of love in my heart.

While I have learned to keep my emotions and life in check (for the most part), I still have my moments. I still have anxiety visit me once in a while. It likes to remind me that I still have a lot more growing and healing to do. It reminds me not to look to far into a future that is still so very uncertain.

The best I can do is remind myself to stay in the present moment and realize life will knock me down more times than I would like to admit. The trick is to fall gracefully.

I broke down last week. I lost my composure. I cried in frustration. It was a true moment of weakness for me. I phoned all the people I care about. I let it all out.

I quickly realized I needed help. I didn’t want to admit that I don’t have my life completely together, but then I realized I don’t and that’s totally okay. Like I have said before, we never really have our shit all the way together. Anxieties will always exist and push us to overcome them in the best way we can.

I hate asking for help. I have always thought it was a sign of weakness. I am not sure where I made this idea up, but it is not healthy to think this way. I am at a point in my life where I do need help sometimes and I have a team of loved ones that are willing to lend a hand.

I feel guilty asking for help because I often feel I have nothing to give others.

And this is where my insecurities come in. Giving does not have to come in a monetary package, we give to others each day whether we feel like we do or not. We give each other love, support, service, advice and comfort. Life is a series of constant exchange.

The minute I talked to my team-my friends and family-I realized I am not alone in the world and asking for help is not a sign of cowardice. I realized I add value to the lives of others and I must acknowledge this each and every day.

I also realized that people want to help those they care about and it’s okay to take part in this exchange.

We are all in this together. Although it is easy to let pride get the best of us, help can give us more power than we ever thought possible. Accept help when needed and remember to help others in need. You never know when the next helpful exchange may happen.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen