Why My 20s Are The Best And Worst Years Of My Life

best, fast, brain, 25, time, irony, naive,worst, 20, 30, 20s, 30s, life, grow, learn, limits, death, rock, bottom, test, age, time, lessons, know, knew, human, love, integrity, wrong, young, heart, I remember being 16. I remember being 11. Anything before that is a complete blur. And after 16, I just remember turning 20. At 20, I knew it all. I was invincible. I was all that and so much more. If someone called, I never answered. If someone wanted to tell me otherwise, I never listened.

21 was always near death. I was testing every and any limit. How much alcohol could my body take? How fast could my car go? How much abuse could my heart handle?

Thinking back, my early 20s were pretty horrific. If pain is glory, then my early 20s were pretty glorious. I didn’t know who I was or who I wanted to be. I had a plan I thought would one day magically come together but I was doing everything to keep that from happening. Ironic, huh?

My early 20s were full of irony. I was full of naivety.

At 21, I hit my rock bottom. By 22, I was trying to piece my life back together. I was more lost than I had ever been before. I wanted to meet rejects like me so I did. I hung out with them night and day and thought I was just like them. I was living a double-life as if I had learned absolutely nothing from my troubled past.

By 23, I was still stumbling. I kept falling like baby Bambi.

They say by 25 your brain stops developing and your values become set in stone. It’s true, by 25, I wanted life to hurry the f up. I was tired of making mistakes and decided it was time to settle down. My mind and body felt older than they ever had before. By this point, I knew who I was. I had become a person filled with love, happiness, and integrity.

How did that happen? From 23 to 25 I had grown up. I was still working at my kid job, but there I was, putting in my time and dedication. I learned that inconsistency was a thing of my past and that if you ever want to be respected you must be consistent in everything that you do.

One thing is for sure, I have never loved myself as much as I do today. I am now officially in my late 20s and so proud of my journey. I am proud of every one of my scars. I am proud of all the things I didn’t know that I eventually learned. I am looking forward to learning so much more, about not only myself but humanity in general.

My 20s have been turbulent, to say the least. They have been more beautiful than I ever thought they could be. They have taught me who I am and who I never want to be. They have shown me I am valuable, special and loved.

Above all, they have proved to me that I still have so much more to learn. And so much more to see, feel and listen to. And while I might think I have it all figured out now, I am sure my 30s will prove me to be extremely wrong.

Love Deeply and Forever,


What To Do When Everything Around You Is Chaos

chaos, chaotic, mess, grounded, bubble, present, future, moment, life, around, predict, fluctuate, changes, yesterday, thankful, planYesterday was just one of those days. I woke up with a positive attitude and nothing was going to stand in my way. I thought this day was going to go perfect. But then it didn’t.

No one was on the same page at work. I didn’t get much done. I felt content but those around me obviously didn’t.

A few years ago, I would have freaked out about all the mess around me. I would have been in a bad mood because all those around me were. My smile would have quickly diminished and replaced with a rotten attitude. But guess what? Not yesterday! Not on my watch!

Yesterday, I decided to shield myself from all the negative energies around me. My healer friend always tells me to make sure to create a “bubble” no one can pop. I constantly do this, but this time I made sure to make it bulletproof.

I spoke positive affirmations to myself throughout the day:

“I am beautiful.”

“I am smart.”

“I am thankful to be part of the beautiful chaos.”

I told myself all of the things I know to be true but I too often forget. I began writing this blog because writing is the love of my life. As I began writing down words, I realized these words will guide me to an incredibly successful future.

So, you probably started reading this because you wanted to know what to do in stressful situations. There is no right or wrong way to deal with chaos. Okay, maybe having a public meltdown would be the wrong way. But anyway, I digress.

When everything and everyone around you is utter chaos, remember to stay grounded.

Recipe For Staying Grounded:
  • Keep your two feet planted beneath you and remind yourself of who you are.
  • Thank yourself for staying present in the moment and go with the uneven flow of the day. Even if there doesn’t seem to be any structure, navigate the chaos with pure grace.
  • Build a bulletproof bubble. Fill it with positive affirmations and thoughts.
  • Remember, you are not this moment. You are a person with many beautiful characteristics. This moment will not define you.
  • Make plans for a brighter future. The possibilities are endless.

You are strong. Tomorrow will be more predictable. Or maybe it wont. Make sure to be thankful for the fluctuations in your life, for without them, life would be mundane and meaningless. Remember to enjoy the process. Chaos is always going to be part of the journey we call life. Find beauty in the inconsistencies.