How To Stay In Love Forever

love, forever, safe, partner,years, communication, success, forever, in love, how, to, words, listen, romantic, lust, more, friends, friendship, heart, importantI have known my love for over 12 years. We have gone through it all. Multiple jobs, partners, and life circumstances. We have despised each other as well as adored each other. It started out as lust and turned into so much more.

I met him and knew he was meant to be in my life forever. I can’t tell you exactly how I knew, but there was definitely something about the way he looked at me. His eyes told stories I could only hope his lips would one day tell.

Life continued to happen and we continued to deeply care for each other. No matter what boyfriend or girlfriend of the week the other had, we couldn’t stay away from each other. We had become a little more than friends throughout the years.

They say timing is everything and I couldn’t agree more. I wanted him to let down his walls. I wanted us to reach the next level. We never did. We stayed romantically stagnant as our lust and friendship grew. Whether one or the other was platonic at the time, I will never know.

Anyway, here we are 12 years later. I am more in love than I ever thought possible.

He is my best friend and so much more. He brings happiness to my every day and makes sure I am always safe and cared for. Our family is growing (with pets of course)!

We are a team with an unbreakable bond. And even when we can’t agree, we still long to be next to each other. We know our souls are meant to be together.

We have different views regarding certain topics but we work well because we both are able to listen to each other. At the end of the day, even our smallest disagreements are productive.

Many couples say communication is key in every relationship. It’s true.

Listening is the most essential part of communication. People never forget the way a person who listened to them made them feel. However, they can easily regret sparking up a conversation with a self-absorbed narcissist.

I now realize that I love listening to my partner because of all those years he spoke but said nothing at the same time. All those years that I yearned to know more about that look in his eyes. We were friends with limitations and now we are a team harnessing the power of listening with the heart.

Remember, some of the most powerful things can be said with absolutely no words. If you just listen closely, you can leave the greatest footprint in the hearts of others.

Find eternal love in listening.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

To All The Harvey Weinsteins Of The World

Harvey Weinstein, sexual, assault, harassment, harass, abuse, physical, psychological, pain, universal, story, past, relationship,Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Léa Seydoux, Cara Delevingne, me too, heart, love, worthy, change, broken, friends, family, after, strong, strength, women, men, change, power, strength, strong, intelligence, years, allow, toxic, toxicity, you, withinI decided to post “Me Too” on my Facebook page the other day. I got a whopping two likes I believe. In comparison to my cat posts, it was surely not in contention for the most likes on my feed.

People were not very interested in knowing I have been sexually assaulted or sexually harassed in my past. The good thing is I am glad about this fact. My harassment goes far beyond a trivial Facebook post.

I can honestly say I really don’t care about this Harvey guy. I do care about what he represents. Well, of course, I do. I have been looked at for reasons other than my intelligence.

As a veteran of the used car business, it is safe to say this happened to me often. Wearing dresses shouldn’t ever be an issue. It always was and I never cared. Why? Because dresses are cute and comfortable! I always do my best to dress modestly but it doesn’t change the society we live in.

After thinking long and hard about this one man, I realize I was giving random people too much power regarding this issue. When I think Harvey Weinstein, my thoughts have definitely shifted.

I am now associating the name with an emotional and physical abuser of my past, or the many “Harvey Weinsteins of the World.”

Have you been in that horrible relationship?

The one that was clearly horrible and painful for you yet you stayed because you thought you could never start over? Did you date that one person people begged you to leave for one too many days or years?

I did.

Not only did I allow harassment in my life, I allowed it for years on end. I allowed psychological and physical abuse because I simply did not love myself enough. I did not love myself at all.

I am not afraid to speak my truth. I will share it with you if you ask. I don’t revisit it unless it is to help others. Just like all the “Me Too” posts, I hope someone is out there reading this and can relate. Not because it is something I wish upon anyone else, but because we are all in this together.

We can all learn and lean on each other as pain is universal.

Many of us have hit our rock bottoms in life. Many of us have allowed toxicity into our precious hearts. No matter what type of doctor or friend you tell, there will never really be a clear a cut reason for why we sometimes feel we don’t deserve the very best around us.

I allowed someone to break me. However, it was only temporary. That situation did not and does not define me. What defines me is what came after the fact.

I picked myself up and made myself better. With the help of friends and family, I rose up stronger than ever. I rebuilt my foundation with love and support and vowed to never allow such abuse within my life again.

If you have or are currently going through similar pain, remember, you are not alone. I have been there as have many before me. It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you not worthy. You have the power within to overcome this painful moment and demand change.

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of respect. You are worthy of valuable relationships. You are worthy of the very best treatment at all times.

I am glad to see change is happening before my eyes. And though I know it will take many years, I understand I can definitely spark a chain reaction with my story. A story that is too often told. A story that I wish was never written. A story that we can alter the ending of TOGETHER.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why I Forgive and Forget

forgive, forget, forgiveness, grace, gratitude, present, power, emotion, love, heart, healthI listened to an interesting NPR podcast about criminals the other day. It posed the question of whether criminals can be reformed. It explained that some can, others cannot.

What I will never forget about this specific episode is the fact that they talked about personalities and how they are not fixed things.

We would like to believe that people close to us are, and forever will be, a certain way, when in reality they can make a rash decision at any given point in time.

The human condition is not a predicatable thing. Although we like to categorize it at such, we are all imperfect humans with desires, instincts, and impulses. Some people can surpress these things, while others let these things get the best of them. So when people say things like “He was the nicest guy,” yet he happened to slay someone, this stark contradiction says it all.

As we are all a part of the human condition, I recently decided to forgive and forget all of those who have commited transgressions against me in the past. It’s not necessarily the easiest thing, but it is definitely the healthiest thing.

We all make mistakes. We all stray from the predictable personalities those around us believe make up our whole being.

Here’s the thing, I used to hold grudges like they were my favorite accessory. I refused to let them go because of my ego. It wasn’t until I developed severe anxiety that I realized grudges did not serve me. I had knots in my shoulders every day and thoughts that just refused to let me be.

I have decided I want to live my life in the present. I have decided that I do not wish to give others any power over my life and/or my emotions. And guess what never hurts anymore? My shoulders. Guess what never gets the best of me anymore? My ego.

I used to think forgiveness was for the weak but I now realize you don’t have to actually say “I forgive you.” Forgiveness can take place within the depths of our hearts. It need not be shared.

I forgive people all day. I understand they are on their own journey and that it sometimes bleeds into their everyday interactions. I forgive people who have hurt me in the past because it allows me to take my power back.

Of course, there is a fine line. Although I forgive and forget, I do not allow negative energy within my life. I have a peaceful bubble I have created filled with love, gratitude, forgiveness, and grace. Those that wish to join me are welcome, and those who wish to destroy it can retreat.

I know those that have caused me harm in the past saw a bit of themselves within me. I forgive them. We are all on the greatest journey we call life together, and I cannot judge others or their actions nor do I wish to. That will all work itself out in the end, but for now, I live a life full of forgiveness because that is what makes my heart shine brighter than any star in the sky.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen