Why it’s Okay to be Sad

sad, why, okay, to feel, life, growth, enough, afraid, heal,feelings, express, learn, grow, spiritual, journey, cry, mad, sad, upset, feel, outlet, action, change,I used to constantly be sad while growing up. I can’t explain why I just was. I never fit in, I was never good enough, and life in general just seemed unbearable. It wasn’t until recently that I embarked on my spiritual journey and realized I am, and always will be, enough.

Although I have finally found sweet serenity within my soul, I still have my moments. Those moments when I realize I probably didn’t sleep enough. Or those moments when I have a ‘tude for absolutely no reason. And while I used to lose myself to anxiety during these less-than-perfect moments, I came to realize that would never serve me on my journey.

There’s a specific reason for why I write. It has always been an outlet for me, my safe place. It is where I can feel everything I want to feel, no judgments. Okay, so maybe people judge me while reading my blog… but that’s okay, my own written words never will and that, to me, will always be worth it.

You might not like to write, you might be an artist. Or maybe you’re a chef. Whatever your passion may be, rest assured that it will always bring you great mental health. Outlets let you express your feelings in ways you might have never thought possible and they can offer relief from the stresses of mundane life.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized it’s okay to have dark moments. It’s okay to write the hell out of them or bake pies like there is no tomorrow. It’s okay to clean your house beyond reason just because you feel like you don’t have your life together. These are all methods for dealing with feelings.

I truly believe it’s okay to feel sad, mad, or irritated for no reason. But guess what? There usually is one or several underlying reasons. Maybe your boss got on your nerves the other day or your boyfriend forgot it was your anniversary weeks ago. Whatever the reason, just know that there usually is one.

We must feel these emotions to properly heal and learn how to move forward in life. If we ignore what or why we feel things, I promise you will continue to feel the same day after day. There will be no change or catharsis, just an empty pit of sorrow and regret.

When I feel negative things nowadays, I try not to lash out at others. Of course, I sometimes fail, but I do my best to deal with my emotions within myself.

I often talk to myself to try to figure out why and what I am feeling in that moment. Sometimes the answers are extremely clear and sometimes they are just not, and that it also totally okay. The point is to try, the point is to grow as a result of each and every one of our emotions.

Sometimes I even have to write it all down to figure out the nonsense. I do my best to learn more about my emotions and the emotions of everyone around me. Listening to our feelings rather than dismissing them is not easy but it is extremely beneficial. I understand that the more I understand myself, the more I can understand others.

So the next time you feel sad, don’t wipe away your tears. Let yourself cry until you can’t cry anymore. If you are mad, let yourself think all those horrible thoughts until they finally escape your mind.

Once you allow yourself to feel you can then take a step back and look at the factors that contribute to those particular feelings. Once you figure that out, find ways to make yourself and your situation better. Feelings are what make us human so let’s try to not run away from them, but rather let them flow through us and teach us what we have been afraid of learning all along.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

My Reaction To The SoCal Fire

fire, socal, anaheim hills, burn, cloud,dark,oc, orange county, talk, neighbor, spirit, orange, anaheim, tustin, freeway, 91 freeway, love,reaction, community, listen, cry, tears, sadness, heartI woke up this morning with a huge smile on my face. I mean, my boyfriend just presented a gorgeous engagement ring to me. Things are looking up for me. I finally got the job I have always dreamed of, I can’t complain.

I drove to work super excited about what this last full week at my current job would bring. I want to finish strong and never falter, I thought. Just as was getting lost in my many selfish thoughts, I drove through what seemed like an amber cloud, except this cloud had no end.

It was early in the morning but the sky was dark and haunting.

We had a fire recently so it looked like a bit of deja vu. I thought maybe there was a different explanation, maybe a residual effect of the recent eclipse? I mean, what else could it be?

I kept driving. I decided not to worry. It was much too early on a Monday to worry about anything.

I got to my first stop of the day and my phone started ringing. It was a coworker. He told me to be careful because there was a huge fire in the middle of my usual Monday route. I froze. Another fire? Seriously? When will all of this chaos end?

I went about my day as normal as possible doing my best to avoid the forbidden 91 East freeway. I thought of the most strategic way to get to where I needed to go. It was a success, I encountered very little traffic.

All was well until I got on the 91 West freeway. I couldn’t believe how fluid the freeway was around 3 pm on a holiday. Woohoo! But then I saw it. I saw a huge black cloud of smoke ahead of me. As I approached the cloud, I looked to my left and saw flames much taller than myself taking over the mountain I so often drive next to.

Suddenly traffic didn’t matter, suddenly I didn’t even matter.

I have to admit I admire nature but I am not a tree hugger. No matter what I am or what I am not, I stared straight into the eye of the fire and burst into tears. It was overwhelming. The fire was literally a few feet away from me.

I kept driving and the flames were endless. My tears shed because of all the people who might be affected by this. My tears shed because it hurt to see such beautiful land go up in flames.

I so often take this long strip of nature for granted. I drive next to it often yet think nothing of it. I just expect it to always be there. Today I realized it will not always be there, and even if it is, it was forever changed today.

I called as many loved ones as I could. I told them I loved them. I told them I was safe. I did what I should do every single day regardless of nature’s wrath. This fire reminds me that everything can literally change in a matter of seconds. People have lost all of their memories and sense of safety today.

To all those affected:

My heart breaks with yours. I am sorry you have had to endure such a loss and/or trauma. And while things might seem irreparable right now, remember that your spirit can never be broken. Remember that you are a part of a larger community and that you are and will never be alone. If you need to talk, reach out to me, I am always here to listen. If not me, reach out to your fellow neighbor.

And to the brave responders and volunteers: I am sending you all of my love and strength, thank you for all of your heart, bravery and hard work. You are changing the course of history as we speak.

Today was not the best of days for many, but let’s all make sure to make tomorrow better by letting all those around us know they matter and that we care.

Love Always and Forever,

Karen

How To Quit Your Job The Right Way

quit, job, work, chapter, doors, right, way, how, grace, thanks, love, gratitude, support, bye, good bye,I have been writing my entire life. It has always been my dream to move the world with my words.

Most recently, I have coached someone on their first book, I have had a personal story published in an online publication, and I have started this blog you are reading right now.

I realized that dreams don’t just “happen” to you, you must make them happen. You must will them, work toward them and believe with every ounce in your heart that you are capable and worthy of accomplishing all of them.

I am not going to lie, I once thought a degree could make all your dreams happen. I worked hard to get my undergrad and graduate degrees in communications. I took one look at the paper they hand you when you are done and realized it wasn’t as magical as I might have thought it would be.

Anyway, one day I realized I was letting my dreams dim.

I became complacent at a 9 to 5 job. It wasn’t so much because I stopped believing in myself, it was more about paying that new mortgage every month. And although some days were better than others, my detective dad’s voice always echoes in my head, “stay on your mission.” And so I did just that.

A few years went by and my dreams started tugging at my heart. My fingers wanted to write as much as my heart did. I started taking action in my writing career.

Careers don’t just show up, you must make them happen with a lot of hard work and grit.

After some years of searching, hoping, and working at it, I was offered my dream job. It all happened like a movie. I applied at 2 o’clock in the morning and was given a job offer some hours later. It almost seemed like I didn’t deserve it, but wait! I so did. I worked so hard to get to this point in my life. I mean, I had worked my entire life to get here.

So, how would I break it to my current employer? How would I tell them I was going to move on? I decided to do it with a lot of gratitude, love and respect.

I ambushed my two mentors and told them I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I looked them both in the eye and said how thankful I was to have had such a secure job for so many years. I also let them know they were a huge part of my growth since I worked for them from 22 to 28 years old.

I have never seen such shocked looks on people’s faces. We all got a bit teary-eyed. It was like I was telling them I was moving to another continent.

Their jaws dropped, their smiles fell but their eyes looked like they were filling up with love.

They both told me how proud they were of me and how they knew this day would come for me-the day when I would get to shine on my own.

I then went around my office and told every department in my own way that I was leaving in a little over a week. Just when I thought no one would notice, I saw the same looks come across their faces as those of my two bosses. I got hugs and beautiful words of encouragement, joy, support and overall love.

I was overwhelmed with feelings of accomplishment and sadness. It was the most bittersweet moment of my life.

I have watched employees come and go, but never with grace. They have slammed the doors behind them and consequently slammed the doors in front of them in the process. I refused to do this. I mean, some employees didn’t even say the words “goodbye,” or “thank you.” I always thought this was a little rude and ungrateful, but to each their own, right?

Everyone chooses their entrance and exit from one chapter to another and I hope my exit can set an example for others who may have to exit sometime in the future.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen