The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

What Does Your Age Say About You?

Since I can remember, I have always wanted to be a “grown up.” I wanted the highheels, the hair, the money, etc… I wanted to rush to the finish line before I even knew what that entailed.

I wanted to sprint through all the stages in life and end up at that state of perfection so many books and movies portray.

At 20-something, I am closer to there than here. I am no longer young enough to make excuses as to why “I didn’t know.” Or am I?

I work in the wonderful world of auto finance where experience means everything. The longer you’ve been in the business, the more people will respect you.

Or so I thought.

I used to cringe when I used to walk into a prospective clients office. I thought, “Omg, they are judging me because I am basically like 5 years old trying to act like I know what I am talking about.” Not only that, but the business is dominated by males and I feared being judged for simply being a female as well.

As the years went by, I realized people will always judge you. People will judge the way you walk, talk and simply are. People will always try to maneuver themselves in order to get what they want because, well, we are all human.

Most of what I do is sales and most of what I hear all day is bullshit. No matter the person’s age, the bullshit is the same with a variation in presentation. Some people like the more educated approach while others prefer the friendlier approach. Regardless of the packaging, the contents remains unchanged.

This is exactly how I feel about age. It is a number, a category we have made up to make sense of the world around us.

We place people in the below 20 category or in the above 50 category in order to classify the many people who populate this earth. I get the categories but they do not explain much about the people who make them up.

Experience speaks volume about people as do personal accomplishments. Life events can alter a person’s “age” by making them grow up much quicker than most. In reality, age is relative.

I am 28 but I know I have lived more life than many other 28 year olds. On the other hand, I know 28 year olds who already have multiple children and businesses of their own.

I try to not discriminate people based on any one factor. No matter their age, demographic, or life circumstance. It is easier said than done, I know.

Age is nothing but another category used to separate ourselves from each other.

I say, let’s love and accept blindly. Let’s put our prejudices aside and simply see people for who they are, rather than see them for their age or tax bracket.

I now realize my age really says nothing about me. It’s a number a fill out on forms and I want to live to fill out many more forms to come. I love to speak and learn from people of all ages because they have lived through distinct personal experiences and life lessons that shape who they are today.

My age says I am fortunate to be alive today, what does yours say?

Choose acceptance. Choose to open your heart to all.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

The Two Words That Never Get Old

thank you, words, exchange, talk, email, letter, write, old, overused, two words, gratitude, thanks, thank, youI sent someone an email yesterday. I was a little offended a few hours later after not receiving a response. Not only did I never receive a response, I never received anything that resembled the two simplest yet most powerful of words.

I sat and thought what a waste of time my energies were. I never knew if the recipient received the message or appreciated it in any way. So why do people not just simply reply to messages with the two words that never get old?

It takes seconds to send an email, yet manners seem to be lacking in this millennial age. I truly believe “Thank you” can never be overused. I try my best to always reply to emails even if I just send a generic “Thank you, (insert recipient’s name here).”

Oh, and that’s another thing. I try to always make it a point to address people by their first name, whether it is in person or via email. There is something special about hearing your own name. I feel acknowledged and special whenever someone calls me by my name during any exchange.

Thank you can never be overused because of the simple fact that we all like to be acknowledged and thanked for taking time out of our busy day to provide information and/or work on a certain project. I oftentimes wonder if using thank you at the beginning and closing of a letter or email is too much. I have come to the conclusion that gratitude is always welcomed no matter what the circumstance and/or environment.

So, if you ever wonder whether you are killing people with your thank you’s in person or via any type of correspondence, stop wondering. Send the thank you for your time and/or consideration. When a stranger opens a door, say thank you two times over just in case they didn’t hear you the first time around.

Thank you never gets old or tiring. But you know what does get tiring and frustrating? Never being acknowledged for your work, gestures or time. Just like a smile, a thank you can go a very long way. Life is all about personal exchanges, so please make sure you thank people along the way for their contribution to your exchange. Using these two simple words can make all the difference.