Why Dads Are So Important

dad, dads, children, daughter, family, try, best, emptiness, best, share, world, ready, late, to, forgive, past, missed, survive, survived, characters, never, best, lucky, why, safe, sacrifice, daddy, important, why, role model, male, gender, present, absentFamilies come in all shapes and sizes. Some have one dad, some have two and some have none. Friends can sometimes become family and family are not always necessarily friends. I love all families and know many people have grown up with a lot of love while others had to grow up without it and do it fast.

I love listening to different stories about people’s upbringings because it provides a sense of context for their character. Some people choose to own their past as part of their framework, while others denounce it altogether and continually fight it.

I own my past, and my past and present consist of having a dad. Not just your average dad, literally the best dad. I know a lot of people say this, but I know I am right. He was and is always present in my life.

He was that dad that always meddled. The dad that met with all my teachers. The dad that was never really asleep at night because he wanted to make sure his family was safe at all times. The dad who sacrificed his everything for his family to live well. The dad who shared nothing about his job while he was home. The dad that read me a book every single night. The dad that was (and is still) the great Saint Nick every Christmas.

It hurts me when I hear some people never had a dad. Maybe it’s not even a dad they needed, but overall support and unconditional love from a good role model.

I am all about gender equality, but there is something to be said about male role models in general. They provide a certain sense of security and love I can’t really compare to anything else.

Either way, I want to thank all those dads out there who did and continue to do their best. Those dads that work overtime just to keep their family comfortable. Those dads that save up all their retirement money to help their children buy a house. Those dads who do homework with their kids even after a rough day at work. Those dads that put gas in their kid’s car. Those dads who look at their children like they are their biggest accomplishments. Those dads who adopted other people’s children as their own. Those dads who thought they weren’t ready for fatherhood but later realized it was actually their life calling.

And to those Dads who couldn’t or just weren’t ready to be present for their children: It is never too late. No matter the age, your kids needs you. No matter the circumstance, your kids will forgive you.

What I really want to let you know is that you missed out. Yes, you missed out on watching your children flourish. And although this is true, just know that most of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. Even if you didn’t, I have talked to your children. The void is still there and is still waiting to be filled. Yes, you might have seemed essential to their lives at some point but they survived without you. Wouldn’t it be nice to get to know who they became without you?

I always had a dad so I can’t speak for every circumstance, but I do know that there is a large number of people who grew up without a dad or anything resembling one. This made many people stronger and others a lot weaker. Whatever the case, I really hope more dads try to reach out to their estranged children and never stop.

I got lucky, but I still feel for those that feel an emptiness within their hearts. I wish I could just share my dad with the entire world but that goes hand in hand with my desire for world peace. Dads are important, if you happen to have kids, try your best to be one. You don’t have to be the very best dad, but at least try to be there.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Revenge Is a Bad Idea

revenge, job, sorry, poor, weak, lindsay lohan, mean girls, rude, mean, universe, eye for eye, forgive, kind, love, resent, anger, betray, steal, abuse, hurt, pain, life, karma, consequence, nowhere,kindnessI used to be a mean girl. Yes, like the ones in the Lindsay Lohan movie. I was rude and thought everyone was out to get me. After some rude awakenings, I realized being mean would get me nowhere fast.

I turned to spirituality and have been as kind as I can possibly be to those around me ever since. I figure we are all on our own personal journey just trying to make sense of it all. The kinder we are to one another, the better the world will be.

Have people been mean to me? Of course. Have people made fun of me? Well, duh. Have people stolen from me? Sadly, yes. Have people lied to my face? Unfortunately. Have people betrayed me? Multiple times. Have people cheated me? Oh yea.

Many people have done me wrong. Many people have hurt me. Many people have negatively impacted my life. If you were to ask highschool me whether or not these people should get a “taste” of their own medicine, I would say, “Most definitely! Let’s go ruin some lives!”

What do I say today? It’s simply not worth it.

Revenge is pointless. There is no use in putting any more time or energy into situations, things or people who simply do not serve me. I should never try to give others a taste of what I think they deserve. Why? Because it is not my job to punish people.

I believe in karma and a lot of other things. I believe people will live a miserable life if they hurt others. I believe the more you give, the more you will get. I believe that kindness and love are stronger than anything else on this earth.

Above all, I believe in forgiving people who have never apologized.

I forgive you for hurting me.

I forgive you for being rude to me.

I forgive you for judging me.

I forgive you for stealing from me.

I forgive you for betraying me.

I forgive you for abusing me.

I forgive all those people who have done me wrong because they have a certain darkness within their heart and soul. I feel sorry for them and hope they find happiness. I hope they can find a beautiful light to guide them on this journey we call life.

Seeking out revenge is not my job, it is the Universe’s. Those that are poor of spirit will soon meet their Consequence if they haven’t already. I know it sometimes feels just to hold grudges and stay angry at people for years to come. But guess what? That is giving weak people too much power over you.

It is healthier to let go and forgive. You will live a longer and more fulfilling life if you can let go of anger and resentments and replace them with love and forgiveness. I used to think revenge was sweet but I now know kindness is oh so much sweeter.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

The Two Things You Can Never Be Ready For

prepare, life, death, birth, motherhood, fatherhood, life events, ready, never, adjust, changeLife is a series of up and downs. We sometimes wake up happy. We sometimes wake up sad without even knowing the reason why. The best we can do is stay positive, organized and mentally “prepared” in the midst of all the chaos.

I try my best to be ready for what each day can bring. Every day has its own curve balls and that is the only thing I am certain of when I wake up. I attach myself to my routine and hang onto it by a thread in order to maintain my sanity through it all.

I would like to say I am as prepared as I can be for each day and/or disaster ahead. I pride myself in staying organized so my mind can be free and clear of clutter. And while many of us try to be prepared for life, there are two things no one can ever really be ready for.

Birth. No one can ever really be prepared for motherhood or fatherhood. No matter how many books you buy or how many podcasts or blogs you subscribe to, you will never be ready enough. No two babies are the same and no baby comes with an individualized handbook. You learn as you go in hopes that your little human doesn’t turn out as messed up as you did.

Death. How can anyone ever be ready for someone to leave them forever? We can write wills and have all the plots picked out in order to take the stress off of our loved ones but the pain will remain for many years to come. Even if someone is of old age, the cut is just as deep. No one is ever ready to lose someone they love. No one can ever say they were prepared to say goodbye. The absence will never cease, and the memories will never be enough.

Like I said, there are two things we can never be ready for. No matter how much we organize or plan, life and death will never be easy. The only thing we can really do under either circumstance is adjust. Of course, nothing will ever be the same but we must simply do our best.

No one likes change. Routine and the familiar will always be comfortable but being too comfortable is also dangerous. We must feel deeply in this life and rise up like a phoenix after pain brings us to our knees.

We can’t beg to return to an old way of life because that will only lead us to disaster and disappointment. And while the cycle of life and death will never be predictable, we must stay as strong as possible and adjust to change any way we can. Find strength in your moments of pain and frustration. The trick is to never give up. Just keep swimming…