The One Thing You Can Never Get Back Once It’s Gone

look, looking, lost, lose, get, back, one, thing, can't, once, gone, reputation, credibility, trust, circle, communication, people, style, lie, lies, liar, you, believe, I am at that point in my life where I have learned a lot about people and how to communicate with them. It is important to have the right tone with the right people and always adjust your style depending on the situation and audience.

It’s always fun to meet new people and learn how they work. Some people respond better to humor, while others prefer a more direct form of communication. I have even met some people who prefer to talk about everything in the context of dating.

Communication and credibility are key when establishing new relationships and nurturing old ones. Credibility can be established through means of positive and effective communication.

Credibility is very important in life and losing credibility can be life altering.  Once people cannot trust you, it’s over. It can forever damage your reputation. And once that is damaged, good luck ever really repairing it.

Once your coined a liar, you can’t apologize and say you have changed and expect the world to trust you again. I mean, you can, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily will. People will always have that doubt that you are not being truthful.

I have encountered many people who just like to lie. Whether it’s about a past experience that didn’t happen or a movie they never watched, they lie through their teeth at all costs.

I am not sure if it is a defense mechanism they acquired while growing up, or something else, but these people are to never be trusted.

I even worked very close with someone who turned out to be the liar of all liars. They lied about everything just to get a reaction out of me. They lent advice that was only to sabotage me, and it wasn’t until I verified one of their white lies that I realized this person never speaks their truth. It was unfortunate but true.

The moment I realized this person was King Liar, was the moment I stopped sharing anything worth sharing with them. I no longer confided in them and I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder in their presence.

It affected me. I must admit this. Did I let it affect me more than a day? No. I began to find it comical and made sure to never share anything of depth with that lying person again.

So, what’s the point of my long rant? A good reputation is the one thing you can never get back. Once it is gone, it is gone.

Consistency is key in all that you do and consistently lying will only get people to consistently not trust you. If they cannot trust you, you lose all credibility and people will refuse to be around you or have you be a part of any their circles.

Be careful with what you say, don’t say, and wish you could say. Sometimes less is more. Lies can break you, your reputation, and those who once believed in you.  And once you break something or someone, it can’t easily be put back together. Take care of what you have. Take care of you. Take care of your reputation.

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Why Family Matters Most

family, addams, familia, blood, relatives, unconditional, love, support, celebrate, grateful, thankful, blessings, memories, moments, time, present, wedding, cousin, aunt, uncleI come from a very small immediate family of four. It is just me, my sister, my mom and dad. While there is few of us, there is quite an abundance of love.

I also have many cousins, aunts and uncles, and they’re just as amazing as my immediate family.

There is one thing I know is true about all of my family and that is that we all love each other unconditionally. Whether or not we agree with each other, whether we are at our best or at our worst, we spread love, no questions asked.

If someone is in trouble, another will come save the day. If someone is in pain, another will absorb the pain and dress it in love and gauze.

I have been reflecting a lot on my family dynamic and realize I am more blessed than most. All of my family loves me as much as I love them and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am beyond thankful for all of my blessings.

I tend to write about things that bother me or go wrong. It is my therapy. Today I am writing about the things that are right in my life, more specifically, the people, my people…my family.

Like many families, mine is not perfect.

There are certain rifts I wish I could mend. There are certain circumstances I wish were never the case. Although this is all true, I consider all blood relatives family. I will always do my best to guide and support them in any way I can. No matter the distance or financial situation, I will always do my best to give my family lots of love.

Last weekend my cousin got married to the love of her life. I had a spectacular time celebrating their love but it went much deeper than that.

That night, we celebrated our family love.

I danced for hours on end. I am a horrible dancer but I danced because I knew that all of my cousins were present-in one place and at one time.  We are all grown now so such events are a rarity.

This night took me back in time. I remember running around with my cousins on Halloween, I remember hearing all of our aunts and uncles talking much too loud on Thanksgiving, I remember our grandma would get us all the same exact Christmas gifts each year so no one would complain.

I remember so many fond memories of our childhood and now that we are older, I treasure them more than ever. I look back and smile at those simpler and joyous memories. I look back and feel the love that we all shared at those many celebratory get-togethers.

I can’t wait for all of my cousins to grow up and have families of their own so we can recreate those beautiful moments. We will make up our own traditions as well as borrow some from our collective past.

And while we are all still trying to figure it all out, I know we will all come together more often. We will have many more nights of dancing, drinking and laughing, and for that I am more thankful than ever.

Familia over everything.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

 

The Power Of In N Out Burger

I was 16 years old when my love affair with In N Out Burger began. I was young, naive and angry at the world. I was forced into slave labor, I thought. I didn’t belong in a burger joint, I thought.

My parents forced me to get a job. They even went as far as actually filling out the application and scheduling an in-person interview with the store manager.

I said all the wrong things and he hired me on the spot. I was distraught. I played sports and was in all advanced classes, why did I have to make french fries too?

I cried on my way to every shift. I didn’t stop crying until the day I realized how fortunate I was to have to work as a hobby. I was humbled on the spot. People chose this place as their lifelong career and that was truly something to admire.

In N Out Burger taught me how to mop, clean bathrooms, smile at all times, look people in the eye, but most importantly, how to live a life full of integrity and service.

It always hung proudly on the wall. One of In N Out’s core values “INTEGRITY,” alongside an In N Out definition of the word. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one else is watching. It’s easy to do the right thing when others are watching but it becomes much more difficult when the only person watching is you.

And service, well it is not as simple as it sounds. Service is something In N Out culture taught me along the way. The customer is always right. No matter what. Now that was hard to grasp. Customer’s were oftentimes wrong, but at In N Out, they were “right” regardless. This taught me to always turn frowns upside down. This taught me that great service brings great results.

These values were instilled within me by force. My parents forced me to work, In N Out forced me to excel at service and integrity. Are things that are forced upon us always bad? Definitely not. Are these values something I still hold close to my heart? Most definitely. I do the right thing when no one is watching at all times and live a life full of gratitude and service. And that’s the power of In N Out Burger…