Someone asked me yesterday how to “unlove” someone. In other words, how to fall out of love with someone who is not good for you. I provided two options which I have come to know very well:
One… Cry until you feel like throwing up for a week straight. Go to all your favorite places and just let every negative emotion out. Lose yourself in every breakup song imaginable. Make yourself a deadline for this drowning out. Tell yourself that after these days/week you will no longer shed a single tear or feel any emotion for that person you once loved.
Two… Become obsessed with yourself. Do every single healthy thing imaginable with your body and soul. Eat all the veggies and drink as much water as possible throughout your days. Workout harder than you ever have before and love yourself as much as you thought the other deserved to love you. Watch yourself transform/blossom into someone you have possibly lost along the way. Just look in the mirror and embrace an entirely different love.
So, of course there is no “right” or magical formula to “unlove” someone but I personally believe we can choose to love or unlove if need be. I could love any man who provides me with the right ingredients to my recipe of happiness. I have come to find I have much more control over this socially constructed concept of love than I had ever thought. I once thought we were all merely victims of love and cupid’s arrow, but as I have aged I realize this is simply a cop-out. You are only a victim if you decide to be and love only has as much control as you decide to let it have. So find that relentless strength within yourself and the rest will come with ease.