Why I Let My Dreams Die

strong, bansky, art, school, college, graduate, learn, plans, proactive, action, love, meaning, dreams, dead, alive, life, passion, follow dream, lonely, limits, change, scared, terrified, stuck, frozen, writing, fall, killer, murderer, power, growthI have always had big dreams. I have always been a fierce girl with hopes of materializing these dreams one day. My dream has been to write and here I am fulfilling it every chance I get. I write to breathe and I breathe to write.

Growing up, I was a lonely only child for many years. I would often talk to myself and play by myself. I soon learned that my thoughts could be transcribed onto paper and my love began there.

Paper could never judge me. Paper would never betray me. Paper would never stop listening.

I went to college, got my Master’s and did all that jazz. I learned to push myself to my limits. I was never smart. I had to always try a little harder than those other naturally gifted kids. But I did it. I graduated with honors as a first generation Latina.

I wrote my way through college and graduated wondering, “What’s next?” While school was great, no one ever told me life doesn’t end there. Life actually begins there. I was so terrified of taking any action toward my dreams that I settled for a mediocre existence. I was stuck.

I stopped writing. I stopped caring. I threw in the towel and dreaded walking into work every day because my passion had died at such a young age.

After a year of soul-searching, I realized my dreams hadn’t died. I had died and I had killed myself single-handedly. I never had a plan for after graduation so I froze in place.

If I could go back in time and talk to college age me I would tell her to start conjuring some master plan for becoming an awesome writer in the future. I would tell her to network while in college even if I didn’t feel like it.

The truth is, even if I had received such advice I probably would not have followed it. Life is funny like that. You have to fall multiple times to understand that falling hurts. Some falls teach us lessons while other falls simply remind us we are alive. 

I forgot I was alive. I forgot I had dreams. I forgot I was a writer. Not having a plan scared me. Not magically having a dream job lined up upon graduation terrified me. As a result, I retreated from my own life. I lost myself and everything I had ever worked for.

Once I realized the dream killer had been me all along, I took a step back and promised myself I would forever live a life full of passion and intensity. I would never let myself settle for less and I would follow my dreams every single day.

The first step toward change was identifying I was a murderer, the second step was setting out to make a change and the third step was becoming proactive in my decision to live. 

I started writing from my heart again. I started helping others write and find their own voice. I started publishing my truth and touching hearts with it. I started taking action each day to learn new concepts, technologies, and methods.

I finally came to the realization that learning doesn’t end after college. After learning from plenty of books it became time to finally start learning from myself.

I truly believe we all put on this earth to make a difference and my contribution will be in the form of written word.

Don’t let your dreams die. Don’t let yourself die. Don’t settle because things didn’t work out the way you thought they would. Be alive. Be proactive. Be passionate. Be ruthless. Be powerful.

Choose life. Choose knowledge. Choose growth.

 

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen

Digiprove sealCopyright protected by Digiprove © 2017 Karen  Dickinson

Author: Karen Dominique

I am a writer of sorts. It is my passion above all else. If you need any coaching or ghost writing services please feel free contact me.