I want them because I love learning. I want them because I want to leave this earth knowing I left behind a living breathing human that I tried my best not to totally mess up.
I always look at children and parents fondly. There is definitely something magical about being a parent. I know there is an amazing bond unparalleled to anything else in the world. The main reason I know this is because of experience. I grew up thinking my parents were always judging me when in reality they full-heartedly supported me no matter what my decision.
Would I cry if I was pregnant tomorrow? Probably. I am not ready today nor do I think you are ever really ready to create and raise a little human being to be less messed up than you while growing up.
I do want to have a child at some point in my life though. I want to have those ironic moments when you look into your child’s eye and you learn more powerful lessons than you ever thought possible.
I want to hold their hand until they start pulling away because they think they are too “grown up.”
Considering what a horrible little teenage girl I was, I know I will have a child much the same. Bring it on. I want to know why I was the way I was. I want to feel the love and pain my parents felt as a result of my behavior.
I want it all.
I don’t want to sugarcoat life for my children but I do want to keep them a bit sheltered for as long as I can. Why? Because every lesson comes at its own time. I want to admire their innocence from a far and fondly smile at the moments that will never be again.
I know some people simply don’t want to have kids ever. That is totally fine too. I know the decision is dependent on a lot of factors. I know some people think this world is too ugly to bring a baby into it. To each their own, right?
No matter how ugly the world can be it can also be stunningly beautiful. I want to share the beauty of it with a family all my own. I want to raise children to have a life a little bit better than mine.
I am in no rush but becoming a parent is definitely something I am looking forward to.
Love Deeply and Forever,