I used to think I knew it all. I was old enough and strong enough to live on my own at the age of 17. I thought I had it all figured out. I refused to ever be or seem to be defeated at life. I worked hard everyday just so I could rely on myself. Little did I know then what I know now.
I know we are forever learning throughout the process of life. I know you can never know it all. I know you must work at bettering yourself day in and day out just to create the life you deserve and desire.
I grew up an only child for most of my childhood. I would play alone and talk to myself on a daily basis. It was this only child that grew up into an independent teen. I talked back, had an attitude, and was a mean force to reckon with. I was mad at the world and refused to let the world win. I remained this way until I realized the world was never against me.
I had to learn everything the absolute worst way possible. I couldn’t just fail, I had to break in order to ever bend. I wish I had that mentor to tell me otherwise. I wish I had someone with sound and reasonable advice to stand by my side. I never did. But if I did, would things have turned out differently? Would I have failed less or hurt less had I known any better? Probably. Probably not.
I have given many friends advice. I give most advice from experience. If I haven’t lived it, I will disclose as much. Do all friends listen? No. Do any friends listen? Sometimes. My girlfriends will usually follow advice if it pertains to beauty. When it comes to life lessons, they have to figure it out on their own.
Why is that? Why do we not listen to sound advice from experienced people? I have come to find we all have to see for ourselves. We think things like, “That would never happen to me,” or “But I am better than that,” or “I’m so different than Jane Doe.”
It doesn’t matter how much you urge people not to make the same mistakes that you did. They must literally feel for themselves. They must feel that pain for themselves. They must feel that fear of not living another day for themselves. We can sit and explain how much pain certain situations caused us, but to those around us, they are just stories. Stories about someone who is not them. Stories about someone who approaches things much differently than they do.
It hurts me to see others hurt after I provide my soundest advice. And although this is true, I now know they must fall down themselves. They must feel the pain and loss themselves in order to ever make a real change in their lives. It is from personal experience that we experience personal growth. This much I know and this much I will share with anyone who ever asks me, “Why didn’t they listen to me?” or “Why don’t they ever listen?”