Do You Really Want Me to Respond to Your “How Have You Been?” Honestly?featured

We have all been through collective trauma. The pandemic hit us all and we all definitely felt it and dealt with it in different ways.

Things are beginning to look a little more like they once did and that is exciting for some us, myself included. Parties, weddings, baby showers, oh my!

As we begin to re-socialize with each other, the elephant in the room seems to be how did you deal with the pandemic? What did you do? Most importantly, “How have you been?”

Well, my answer to that is a little bit complex.

What about yours?

Do people really want us to answer “How have you been?” honestly?

If so, this may take us a while…

I’ve been through a lot of pain. I lost my job, I fell into a deep depression, I ate all my feelings, and packed on the weight of those feelings, we lost our first born (kitten) child, I saw my neighbor with a bullet through his forehead. Literally. That’s how I’ve “been.”

If you read some of my quarantine posts, on the flip-side of this series of unfortunate events, I put my heart and soul into my dream business, learned I want to empower people to heal, fell more deeply in love with myself and my partner. And just really woke up from all the sleepwalking I was doing.

But let’s not ignore the fact that darkness had to cast before I could ever see a glimmer of light.

Yes, the pandemic magnified many of the things we so desperately wanted to ignore. It took away so many of our coziest distractions.

Our mental health suffered on unimaginable levels and we must now work together to pick up the pieces.

I am loving all the new tv shows, podcasts, books, and music centered around mental health. This is the first time I am seeing people have vulnerable and meaningful conversations of this type on a global scale.

We are finally feeling together. And talking about it. If this isn’t progress, I don’t know what is.

The culture I was born into was taught to not talk about how we really feel, how we are really doing, how we have really been. And it’s my job to change what I have always known.

So far, I see the ripple effects happening to those around me. I see authenticity that was once disguised by passive aggressive actions and ambiguous conversations.

One of the ways we can change the conversation around mental health is to answer “How have you been?” in the most honest of ways. Not just brush it off as small talk.

Next time you’re asked this, I encourage you to say something more meaningful than, “Same ‘ol, same ‘ol.” Chances are, the person asking the question may find relief in knowing your truth is as real as theirs and this can make all the difference.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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