Why My Desk is So Cleanfeatured

I wasn’t always a neat freak. I used to throw clothes on the floor and have a dumpster of a backseat. That was my normal for a very long while. My mind and my spaces were a complete mess and I somehow still sought refuge through all of the clutter.

As the years went by, something within me changed. I had to break to piece myself back together. But I’ll save that story for a rainy day.

I think I became obsessed with having clean spaces after college. I rented a room in the heart of Santa Ana and if one thing was out of order, the entire room would be in complete disarray. I figured that if I wanted to manifest some sort of order in my post-grad life I would have to start with my little box of a room.

I had three jobs and hit the gym twice or even three times a day. I meal prepped. I cleaned. Constantly. I went from being a teacher, to a fry cook, to a financial representative. The only way I could find clarity through the chaotic days was to keep my little room in order. My car followed suit.

Once I started graduate school, I got even more serious about my organization skills. I would have color coded tabs in my notebook and designated highlighter colors for different subjects. I bought the latest tech and did my best not to hoard unneeded documents. I was nesting for my future it seemed.

These habits stuck with me. Today, I still find refuge in clearing the clutter. Sure, I have that one drawer in the kitchen with all the mysterious cables but I do my best to keep all of my spaces clean. It’s not because I am a germaphobe. Honesty, I couldn’t care less about germs, bring them on.

It’s all about productivity for me. If my desk is messy, my mind is messy and nothing good can come of that situation.

Cleanliness and organization can be seen as a way to cope with anxiety. For me, it’s just the best medicine. It’s how I create a blank canvas on which I can create art open. Whether I’m at home, work, or in my car, I can only create order through means of organization.

Of course, this can be a double-edged sword. When my house is under construction, I find it hard to ground myself.

Materialistic?

Maybe. But at least I am aware of my disposition. I can also easily adapt when necessary… for the most part.

We’re all human, we all have our quirks. Organization is mine. Call it what you want, but it is what gives me a sense of order in the chaos we call life. I am glad I found this coping mechanism because when I create order within my space, I can create order within my mind, and that is what generates some of my greatest successes.

Is your desk clean?

Love Deeply and Forever,

Karen