We Had a Covid Wedding Before Covid and This is What I Learnedfeatured

Growing up, I was a princess. There was no escaping the fact that my mom dressed me up in every Disney princess outfit that existed. She made custom bows to match each one and I always knew my storybook ending would involve some version of a Prince Charming.

As I got older, I searched for him far and wide and came up short many, many times. But I never lost hope. I dreamed of a Gatsbyian wedding with fireworks, fountains of champagne, and gold-plated everything. If my dress could be made of gold, even better.

This was the “dream” I thought. To have a big party to celebrate my fairytale love.

But then I found myself dating the archnemesis of Prince Charming. He broke me down every chance he got. He manipulated me in every sense of the word. The abuse ran deeper than I could ever explain in one blog post. And there I was, still wishing for the fairytale ending, refusing to see that it would be impossible to accomplish with him.

I will spare you the ugly details of how this all ended, but you can only imagine. That I walked away with some physical and emotional scars would be putting it lightly. I remember one day looking in the mirror and thinking, “I am a princess and I do deserve it all.”

That’s when my original love story came back into view. The tall, blond, blue-eyed dream of a man I had met as a highschool junior. He welcomed me onto his shiny new boat in Dana Point Harbor, took me on a moonlit journey across the ocean (literally), and the rest is history.

Wait, what was this blog post about again? Oh, yea, our Covid wedding before Covid.

The longer we dated, the more I realized that the big ridiculous wedding had never really been the dream. It was the socially-constructed ideal that Disney (and my mom) had helped paint in my head. The dream was actually finding a partner with whom I could share all of life’s challenges and celebrations with. And this would only mark the beginning of the journey.

Suddenly, a great big wedding lost all of its glory. I wasn’t even sure we would even need to be officially married. Our love was more powerful than any law-binding contract and I was okay with that.

Why?

Because our every day became a Gatsbyian celebration. I was no longer being treated like I was less than, broken, or powerless ragdoll with no hope of being repaired. I was being lifted up to be the best version of myself on a daily basis. And what else could I ever ask for?

My love did end up asking me to become his wife. And at that exact that moment, I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that our wedding would look nothing like my Pinterest ‘Wedding’ board. I knew that all I wanted was to make sure that we both remembered this special day, that we remembered the look in each other’s eyes, and that we had our parents and grandparents present to witness it all.

We opted for the elopement-style wedding (now known as the Covid wedding). We broke all traditions and informed our inner circle. Some were happy, others not so much, but we knew this was just what our love called for.

While both of us seem outgoing, we really are not, and the only way to truly honor our genuine selves was to be in our element on this day. It wasn’t up for debate, it was just what felt right for us.

The day was the most intimate and meaningful affair of our lives. We never shared our vows with each other prior to this day, but somehow they turned out exactly the same but in different words. I remember every moment, every look, but most importantly, all the love that filled our hearts.

Grandma and Grandpa, who are almost 100, who have been married for over 70 years, were there. All of our moms and dads were there, and we were as present as we possibly could be.

We weren’t trying to keep up with our guest list, we weren’t trying to remember the rehearsed choreography, we were simply there with the sole purpose of making a deep and powerful promise.

I learned it had never been about the wedding, it had always been about finding true authentic love.

Yes, I know, I shocked the world with our decision. But neither of us has ever looked back. This day wasn’t about the world, it was about us. We support each other in every sense of the word and our love journey is just beginning. Who knows? Maybe a big celebration will be in order to celebrate our 10, 20, or 30 years of matrimony? In the meantime, we will continue celebrating each other every single day of our lives.

Love Deeply and Forever,

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