What I Learned from Holding My Tonguefeatured
—At the tender age of 29, I often find myself fighting the little girl inside of me. She is stubborn and boy does she have a loud mouth. She questions everything and believes nothing. She feels like most people are against her and is in a constant battle with herself.
It’s funny because I am obviously older and wiser, right?
The answer is twofold, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I often switch back and forth in my mind before responding to difficult or awkward situations.
I used to always get in trouble for saying too much and saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I still do. This battle is constant.
It’s not until recently that I realized that saying nothing can often be more powerful than saying something. Silent strength is something that I recently stumbled upon. When I heard this phrase I paused and reflected.
Could it be that silence is more powerful than any word could ever be? I mean they do say actions speak louder than words. Could it be that silence is one of the loudest actions?
I recently got very upset over a really inconsequential situation. It was just one of those days, you know? When you planned for too much but did too little? My master plan was just completely hijacked and I wanted revenge.
Someone dear to me made it worse. They didn’t make the horrible day any better. I wanted to respond in the ugliest way possible, I wanted to use words like daggers. That’s what the little girl inside of me said to do.
But I didn’t.
I held my tongue. I counted and told myself to not respond at that moment. I thought it would be best to cool down and wait until I had something nice to say. So I did.
I waited and when I woke up the next day I realized I was being that little girl again. The one that wanted to just talk too much to simply drown out the noise around her.
This time around I responded with kind words. I chose every word carefully and realized what a reactive baby I had been the day before. A whole day made a huge difference.
We often get so caught up in our difficult moments that it becomes hard to take a step back and be rational and kind to those around us.
It’s not always about what you say. Sometimes it’s about what you don’t say. People appreciate a genuine listener more than they appreciate an empty talker.
I know that it is time that I put my loud mouth away. Or at least calm it down a bit. That is the lesson I am currently meant to learn. It’s not going to be easy but I know that if I want to keep deep and meaningful connections in my life I must learn how to simply talk less—or at least wait until I have the proper words to express myself in the most effective way.
Love Deeply and Forever,
Karen
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